A Breath of Fresh Air

It is Springtime! Time to roll down your windows on the car and breath fresh air.. Oh you say you have allergies and the pollen bothers you or maybe it's the dust or the exhaust. Enough is enough. Perhaps it's time for you to understand allergies but most of all your lungs. Go ahead right NOW, stop and put both your hands on top of your lungs. I know. I know you can't put your hands on your lungs only a doctor in surgery can do that. You see your lungs are protected by your ribs and muscles, then layers of tissue and skin. And if you do not breath you die! However, seldom does anyone think about their lungs. I had a great nephew with a disease called Cystic Fibrosis. This can be life-threatening but today can be treated in many ways even lung transplants. Isn't that amazing? This is a disease that may have mucus that is too think and sweat that is too salty. If the mucus is think it clogs the lungs and it is hard to breath. It can also block the pancreas which is used in the process of digestion.

Most people become aware of their lungs after they have climbed the stairs and then stood still holding on to something because they are short of breath. Shortness of breath and allergies are part of many diseases so these symptoms are "red flags." In other words what is your body telling you when you have shortness of breath? Chances are it is saying exercise, exercise, get fresh air, learn to breath, cut down on the mucus from foods that create acid and mucus within your body, loose weight and most of all drink more water.

We as a society have never been taught the symptoms of our body that contribute to disease so I will enlighten you NOW. It has been said that allergies are inherited. Yes that is possible. As a child I couldn't stand wool clothing and my body itched like mad, I always seemed to have swollen glands which appeared to tell me I was having mumps for the tenth time. As an adult I too sneezed way too much and my eyes teared. I had allergy treatments and lived on a medication as needed. What I hadn't learned was to drink lots of water and exercise more and get fresh air. Once I did this on a regular basis I realized that the body needs to replace water always for the organs to function properly. I haven't had allergies since. The lungs need 11-12 ounces of water a day merely so they are capable of functioning. The mucus from foods also creates some allergies.......... I will address that next month so stay tuned. Meanwhile go to Nutrition Monday/Facebook for LifeStyle information. Until then keep breathing and drinking water daily. Half your weight in ounces daily to maintain to function.

Carolyn Finch
Speech Pathologist and Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert.
That means there will be a spark in your next meeting when Carolyn is there speaking.
Programs available are: Oops! Your Body Language is Showing, Eating Can be Fun When You Learn How and Taking Care of You by Moving-Eating-Thinking well. CALL NOW for more information.
203 405 3972 or cell 203 512 4798 or carolyn@carolynfinch.com  or friend her on Facebook or go to Carolyn Finch LinkedIn  or Tweet!

What is Your Communication LifeStyle?

By Carolyn Finch

As I waited at the stop sign for the children to
get off the bus, I noticed a mother with a stroller and a sleeping baby waiting at the bus stop. I was only about 15 feet from the front of the bus and could see parents standing around. This mother was holding her smart phone with her head bent downward and at times would stop and then text  or enter a number and then the phone went back up to her ear. I never saw her check on the baby in the stroller nor did she look up. Soon a cute little light skinned boy with curly brown hair about 5 or 6 years old jumped off the bus and waved a paper with a painting at his mother. Mom paid no attention to the boy so he grabbed her leg and shouted "look mom look mom"
She looked down at him and shouted "I told you not to talk to me when I'm on the phone."

My heart sank and I wanted to cry as I'm sure that the little boy wanted to do. What an ideal time for communication. This amazing transition time when a child is enthusiastic about something he has created and at the same time happy to be getting home from school. Was this a dysfunctional communication moment?  It certainly appeared that way. Would this be the base to poor communication for the next few minutes, hours and maybe even days?

The  one major aspect of being a human being is that we are able to communicate orally. Have we forgotten to be thankful for this gift of true conversation? With the advent of smart phones we have a new addiction. Research shows that the average person with a smartphone texts an average of 100 time a day wow! This type of communication determines our lifestyle and our lifestyle determines our communication.

If we have an addiction of any kind such as shopping, drinking, drugs, sickness, foods whatever,
our typical conversation will include words, phrases and stories related to our addiction. Doesn't sound like a learning listener and quality conversation to me. Therefore my challenge to you as a Blog reader is to look at everyone you speak with, eye to eye and belly to belly. This way you will be listening to the other person and as a reward you will learn something from what they say. So add to your communication lifestyle the ability to listen with your eyes.

You can improve your communication by helping yourself become more enlightened after hearing me speak at your next conference. Call now for more information or for  a one on one Speech Coaching session.203 405 3972.

Carolyn Finch Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert TM
Professional Speaker who will put a SPARK in your next meeting!       carolyn@carolynfinch.com

Happy Valentine's Day

by Carolyn Finch

Life has its ups and downs and when we are down we are feeling sorry for ourselves. When we are up we want to share ourselves with others. Isn’t it interesting that the reading of a heart beat also goes up and down hmm-mm? Then comes a day in February that is called Valentine's Day. Did it start with the card companies? No it started in 260 AD. It happened during the rule of the Roman Empire, and the beginning of Christianity. Now picture the Romans in their Togas.and think what it might have been like at the pagan Lupercalia Fertility Festival.

To begin the festival according to the History Channel, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman Priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome were thought to have been cared for by the she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. The men would then cut the goat hide into strips, dip then into the sacrificial blood and go into the streets gently slapping the women and the crop fields with the goat hides. Roman women were not fearful but welcomed  the touch of the hide because it was believed to make then more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day according to legend, women of the city would put their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each pick a name and become paired for a year with their chosen woman. Sometimes these relationships would lead to marriage.

The celebration was tolerated by the early Christians but when there was more power the Christian church  named the Lupa celebration St. Valentine's Day to Christianize it more. By the Middle Ages Love found it's way into the yearly celebration of  St. Valentine's Day and the first written valentine greeting was in 1400. Who was St. Valentine? That is a lively discussion you may wish to have after you Google it. There was always much confusion and controversy about the day and the saint so in 1969 the Roman Catholic Church removed the Saint and the retailer took over. 

You may be a part of the 120  billion dollars spent on this holiday every year in the United States. This is spent on candy, flowers and gifts. (jewelry wins out.) So go ahead and share yourself with others through whatever means you wish. For me love hugs are the best. Think about what is the very best gift you can receive? It is another day of life. So breathe deeply, put your hand over your heart, feel it beat and think about the ups and and downs in your life and move on with gratitude. Now reach around your body with both arms and give yourself the biggest hug you have ever had, you deserve it!      Happy Valentine's Day.

      “She’ll hold them in the palm of her hand”

Let Carolyn hold your audience in the palm of her hand…“Carolyn was dynamic, exciting and very knowledgeable. She knows how to keep her audience involved,
I recommend her without any reservation”                  George Tomka,   Meeting of Lutheran Educators

  Carolyn Finch    Master Teacher - Coach - Speaker     
 Popular Topics                                                                                      

 Oops! Your Body Language is Showing!                              
  What are others thinking? How’s my health?  Who’s Lying?                                   

             Communicate or Suffocate                                         
 What’s your Communication Fitness Score? Learn New Skills                    www.carolynfinch.com    bodylanguagexpert@gmail.com
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Pro Speakers

Hello Speakers, Business Owners, Future Entrepreneurs and Big Dreamers,  

 In this months article I would like to discuss Pro Speakers, which is an organization that is very near and dear to my heart. Pro Speakers is an advanced Toastmasters Club. The Club organized back in 2007 and that is when I joined as a Charter Member. There are two other Charter Members that are still active. When I first joined this club in 2007, I had made it through most of the Toastmasters manuals and achieved ATM-G as it was classified back then. I made a goal that year to stretch my speaking skills by either joining a National Speaking Firm or Hiring a Professional Speaker as a coach. In June of 2007, I was invited to a meeting where the Pro Speakers concept was introduced. The concept was to bring in members that were focused on speaking professionally for a fee or to accentuate their speaking skills to help move them further along in their career. For me, It boiled it down to this: "We were out to find uncommon speakers with incredible desire to push the envelope of greatness and deliver extraordinary presentations that will propel them onto their ultimate goal in speaking."

The entry to the club has a couple of prerequisites. If you were a Toastmaster you were welcomed to join as long as you completed your first 10 speeches out of the Competent Communicator Manual and secondly, you had to have a passion to be hired as a Professional Speaker for a decent speaking fee,. From my stand point I was rubbing elbows with the best, this was exhilarating. 

The first years membership held at least 12 members and most of them highly polished  and motivated speakers. At least six of the members drove 60-90 minutes one way to attend these meetings. That along intrigued me. The meetings consisted of 2-3 speeches that averaged 7-10 minutes long. You were then strictly critiqued for 2 minutes by each member with succinct purpose, advice and what you needed to do to improve. When you were about present a speech to grammatical experts and professional speakers you knew you had to be prepared and on your game. The critiquing absolutely made you better.The term "Shark Tank" was eventually coined for our club. In the eight years that have since passed, many of the original charter members have moved on, most of them achieved the goals and their purpose from this club. There are many great stories of success! I could cover another page of the successes that have been spawned because of Pro Speakers but I will save that for my Demo Speeches that I am giving for the Club this year. Pro Speakers is searching for new members that would want to push the envelope with speaking skills, being hired as a Professional Speaker, or moving up in your particular firm to do training and other skill set meetings. If your club or organization would like me to do an introductory presentation about the group please get in touch with me to schedule a presentation. If you have that inner passion to stretch your abilities in speaking come and visit us. 

Next blog: February 25, 2016

Contact Information:

PROSPEAKERS

Club Number:1029995, District 53, Area F61

Location: Agawam Senior Center
954 Main Street Agawam, Massachusetts 01001 United States 

Meeting Times: 1st & 3rd Thursday 7:00 pm 

http://www.toastmasters.org/Find-a-Club/01029995-prospeakers




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Are Your Customer Service Skills Where They Should Be?

Most customer service people are excited about their first day at their new job.They go to work ready to hit the road running,and for the next few months, their days are filled with interesting things to do and learn, and new people to talk with. As they start working with their customers, they probably even exceed their own expectations with the level of customer  service they’re providing. They do it because they understand the importance of first  impressions.  But sooner or later, the newness of the job—or customer—wears off, the day-to-day demands of  the job settle in, and all the extra customer service they went out of their way to provide in the beginning starts getting old.
When a customer calls and you say you’ll get back to them,don't push the request to the side. If you do before you  know it, two days have passed, and the next conversation you have with their customer starts off  with a litany of excuses—sometimes lies—rather than informed and articulate answers. If you want to be thought of as a superstar when it comes  to customer service, handle the promises with a professional attitude toward solving the problem and keep your promises to the customer.

Take full responsibility for your own customer service skills. Customer service is not always an  easy job. It can be fun when everything is going great, but not so much when there’s a problem.As a customer service professional you already may know the basics of customer service, but do you  read the occasional article about trends in customer service? Do you ever take the time to  honestly reflect on how your customers might view your customer service skills? Do you have at  least one customer service role model who excels at customer service?

Customer service is more than just problem solving. Every conversation, message, and email you  are connected with represents not just your skill at it, but also how important you think it is. Your  good customer service will give your customer every reason to feel respected and appreciated. When your customer service skills are excellent, you’ll be well on  your way to building long­term profitable business relationships.

Are your customers dealing with a different version of you after they’ve done business with you for some time?  Here a three tips of advice.

1. If you are having a bad day, it's not your customer fault. Suck it up and put on a smile  and make their interests, concerns, or problems yours, and do it happily.

2. From the moment you say hello until you say goodbye you are being judged for better or  for worse. Surly you don't want to be the main topic at their business meetings as a bad  example of poor customer service.

3. Good morning, good afternoon, thank you for your business, we look forward to working  with you are words dear to your customer ears and go a long way.

Most of all if you are burned out, no longer care for the job (and customer service is about one of  the most demanding) talk to the person in the company that can help you get over those hurdles.  If you don't, the customers will go away and with it their revenue and with it your job. So remember , make everyday a great selling day!          

                         

Alan Luoma is a Sales Coach with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, new product development, sales and product training. He works with a national sustainable packaging company and their distributors to increase sales. Alan is an expert that speaks on eliminating behaviors that prevent you from being successful in sales and uncovering sales prevention departments that hinder your success. He is a member of the Hartford Springfield Speakers Network, The National Speakers Association and New England Speakers Association. You can view his profile on LinkedIn, or contact him at Luoma@snet.net

Choices

Your current life is culmination of past choices you’ve made. Those choices come in the form of attitude, behavior, thoughts and actions or inactions you’ve taken. They are all based on choice. There are some things that we are born into that can be argued are not choices. Regardless of your belief in that regard, there is a choice involved as to whether or not that defines and confines who you are, what you are doing and who you are being. 

Take a moment to define at least one desired outcome. Is everything you are doing oriented towards the outcome you are wanting? What can you do to focus yourself on that outcome?

If it’s a better relationship with someone, are you taking the time to listen to that person and really hear what he or she is saying? Are you willing to let go of preconceived notions about what you think they are meaning and get clarity from them? Don’t expect someone else to change, rather be willing to change the way you are approaching situations in order to alter the normal chain of events. Be open to different approaches.

If you are looking for a better job, are you updating your resume and your LinkedIn profile? Are you talking with people about what you are looking for? Are you networking? Have you defined what that better job may look like? The latter is a huge point. It is easier when you know what you are looking for and also much easier to enlist the help of others in that process.

There are so many possibilities. Each step is a choice, many of which can lead you to your ambitions at varying speeds and others, which will send you in another direction. Choose wisely and remember you always have a choice. It all starts with you.

Please feel free to contact me at www.lucindasmith.com to share your successes and experiences, or to get answers to any of your questions.

Lucinda Smith

Coach ~ Speaker

Life Transformationalist
Solutions for Living

“Understanding the Energy of Attraction, Part 2: The 3 Essentials of Attraction”

“Energy Manager” is one of the many roles a presenter plays when speaking in front of a group.  We know, as do the folks who ask us to present, that the attendees at a program experience one of two energy flow states. At just about any moment, they're either being energized or they are being drained of their liveliness.

Essential 1: Vulnerability

Audiences want to know how we’ve dealt with the problems in our lives and what we have to teach them. No Stand-up comedian comes out and says “Good evening! My life is great, things are smooth, and the trust fund check always arrives on time. Can you relate?” Comedians come out and speak rather to the fears and frustrations they (and we) encounter: politics, relationships, self-esteem, etc. The audience nods and says to itself, “Yeah, me too. What did you do about it?”

Our  audiences relate to us through the challenges we’ve encountered. We relate to them through storytelling. I believe the magic of storytelling lies in the fact that when we tell our own story we are sharing an individual experience. Yet, as we tell it and it travels from our lips to the ears, hearts and minds of our audiences, the story trans forms from being one person’s experience to one that contains a universal truth. Many in the audience can relate to that universal truth. We start out sharing our vulnerability and end up discovering a source of our strength. They are both the same.

Essential 2: Presence

Our presence is what attracts the audience to us. It is the magnet that pulls their attention towards us, that quality of poise and effectiveness that enables a presenter to achieve a close relationship with an audience. The energy in the room is fueled by our presence. If we are to be considered an “attraction,” it is our presence that makes us so.

A means to developing presence is learning to be in the moment, to “be in the here and now.” Wonderful opportunities to develop this quality offer themselves to me whenever I am at a professional gathering or a social event. As I’m talking to a friend or new acquaintance at a gathering, I see out of the corner of my eye someone else I am dying to speak to. Each time I resist the urge to let my attention drift from the person I’m speaking to, I enhance my presence. Each time I refocus my awareness to the one I am with, I bring myself to the present. The greatest gift I can give myself or my audience is my presence. If you need basic “presence” training, I encourage you to enroll in an improv theater class.

Essential 3: Spontaneity

We demonstrate the elements of poise and effectiveness to our audiences in what we do and how we react to unexpected situations. When we are on the platform, standing in front of our audiences, we are in a leadership position, both actually and metaphorically. They look to us very intently during situations that are unexpected in either their timing or impact. What are they looking for? They want to see how we respond spontaneously. Spontaneity is a skill that enhances presence and, as paradoxical as it seems, spontaneity can be practiced. In fact, in order to become spontaneous, you must practice spontaneity.

Blocks to spontaneity occur when thinking takes the place of acting from natural feeling. Spontaneous responses never seem contrived or manipulated. They seem natural because they are unaffected. You can’t worry about what people are going to think. You know very well that people are going to think what they want to, based on their own perceptions of the truth. You may as well act from your own heart, soul and experience. If you are going to go down, you may as well go down with your own truth.

We can nurture the three elements that help make us real, the three fundamental aspects of authenticity that make us attractive to the audience: vulnerability, presence and spontaneity. When the audience is charged by our presence and the attention is directed toward us, we are where we want to be and they are where we want them! This is what is meant by “holding the audience’s attention.”

Izzy Gesell (Izzy's website) is an organizational alchemist who helps individuals and organizations transform their thinking from commonplace to extraordinary. Through his keynotes, trainings, coaching and facilitated sessions, Izzy offers imaginative, intuitive and immediately useful insights and programs. He is skilled at delivering meaningful material in a way that makes participants enjoy their time with him.   
Izzy was one of the first to use Improv Theater concepts as tools for personal and organizational learning. He is the author of Playing Along: Group Learning Activities Borrowed From Improvisation Theater, a co-author of Cancer & the Healing Power of Play, a co-author of Humor Me: America’s Funniest Humorists on the Power of Laughter, and a contributor of a chapter on Improvisation as a facilitation tool in the IAF Group Facilitators Handbook. "His video course  on Applied Improv for Leadership" for Lynda.com was their first  course shot before a live audience. A second Lynda.com course, "Humor in the Workplace" was recently releeased

More Common Communication Mistakes that You Might Be Making (part 2 of 2)

These are behaviors we have all been guilty of at some time.

If you missed part 1, click here to read 6 Common Communication Mistakes



7. Having negative or apathetic body language.
People are constantly throwing off a storm of signals. These signals are often silent (non-verbal) messages communicated through the sender's body movements, facial expressions, voice tone and loudness. If these don’t match your words, you may be viewed as inauthentic and not someone to trust.

8. Not paraphrasing and restating what the other person says.
The only way they can know that you heard and understand them is to restate what they said or comment in some way.

9. Letting your emotions control what you say.
Words cannot be retracted.  When you’re angry, pause for a few seconds (minutes, hours) until you can think logically and create the outcome you desire.  

10. Attacking other people’s character instead of what they say or do.
Disagree with what someone says.  Resist saying, you’re a jerk! Instead of tearing them down, build them up.

11. Expecting people read your mind.
Speak directly and give clear expectations.  Remember, no one is a mind reader.  You can prevent being disappointed by clearly stating what you want.

12. Giving up your power with your words.

STOP saying “I’m sorry.” If an apology is warranted (and often it is not) DO say, “I apologize” ….that I missed the meeting, forgot to bring my report, etc.    There are lots of ways to be polite without coming across as weak.  The other person is more likely to take advantage of you if they believe you are weak. And will trust you if they believe you are sincere.
Being a good communicator takes effort. It’s like being a good athlete - you have to practice if you want to be good at your craft!

Are you the communicator you need to be?

Ann Meacham is president of Leadership Dynamics.  She works with business owners and executives to help them see issues that need to be addressed and ensure the focus in on the big picture. 

Check out our Executive Coaching Program Email a comment to ann@leadyourteams.com  For more about us take a look at How We Work

Don't Brush Your Teeth

by Carolyn Finch

That’s right you read that headline correctly. Don’t brush your teeth without brushing your gums and tongue too. Especially if you are in
the public eye, in sales. sit with individuals at meetings or a Professional Speaker. As a matter of fact you never want to brush only your teeth.
You want to get in the habit of having good oral hygiene. There is presently a rise in oral cancer, the need for dentures and partial plates
and oh yes people are still getting teeth pulled. I think there are many people who do not understand that much of an individual’s health depends on their teeth and how they have taken care of them over the years. According to current Dental Statistics 50% of people over the
age of 50 have partial or full dentures. So take care of your teeth, so you
                                             can be proud of your smile.

Now let’s talk about teeth. YOUR teeth. There are 10 action steps to teeth brushing and oral Hygiene.
 
1.    You need to allow several minutes for teeth and oral hygiene 2 to three times a day.
2.    Good oral hygiene consists of brushing the gums and at first they may bleed but keep it up with a
        soft toothbrush. The gums hold teeth in place and the gums can catch a lot of food and bacteria.
3.     Brush your teeth with a dry toothbrush with toothpaste on it. Hold the brush at an angle
        and brush the inside and outside of your teeth.
4.     Brush the teeth in the back (the molars) first. That is where most of the cavities form.
5.     Rinse your mouth (plain water) and toothbrush in warm water after brushing so bacteria doesn’t
         sit in the brush all day. Change your brush about every 3 months.
6.     Use dental floss 1 or 2 times a day to clean between the teeth. Unwind a large amount of floss
        and wrap it around your index fingers then use a clean part of floss for each tooth, being careful
        to use a clean piece of floss for each one.
7.     Hopefully you know how to chew and chew your food on only one side of your mouth at all
        times. If you chew on both sides at one time, there is too much pressure put on your jaw and it    
        is possible to develop TMJ Tempo mandibular joint problems with your jaw bone and socket
        where it joins with the upper part of your skull or crack your teeth.
8.     Scrape your tongue with a silver spoon turned over. If it appears white then there is a possibility
        that you are already collecting a lot of bacteria. A clean mouth requires no commercial
        mouthwash.

9.     Test your breath by putting your index finger on the back of the tongue then smell it.
10.   Remember to have your teeth cleaned every 6 months at the Dental office and spend the extra

        for an oral cancer screening. For those individuals who have been told they have cancer they are
        pleased they had the screening done. It is a relatively easy Cancer to care for and eradicate from
        the body when discovered early enough.

Now that you know how to care for a very important area of your body, do it. Don’t merely whisk the brush over your teeth and think that that action is cleaning your teeth. Don’t brush your teeth. But brush your teeth, gums and tongue, use dental floss and rinse. Your smile is a very important part of your Body Language and it is embarrassing for me to have to tell you there is brown remnants of toast stuck to your gums. So be ready for the most important business meeting or prestigious event.

  
Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert  203 725 3133 (office)   203 512 4798 (cell)

Keynote Speaker/Speech Coach