“Understanding the Energy of Attraction, Part 2: The 3 Essentials of Attraction”

“Energy Manager” is one of the many roles a presenter plays when speaking in front of a group.  We know, as do the folks who ask us to present, that the attendees at a program experience one of two energy flow states. At just about any moment, they're either being energized or they are being drained of their liveliness.

Essential 1: Vulnerability

Audiences want to know how we’ve dealt with the problems in our lives and what we have to teach them. No Stand-up comedian comes out and says “Good evening! My life is great, things are smooth, and the trust fund check always arrives on time. Can you relate?” Comedians come out and speak rather to the fears and frustrations they (and we) encounter: politics, relationships, self-esteem, etc. The audience nods and says to itself, “Yeah, me too. What did you do about it?”

Our  audiences relate to us through the challenges we’ve encountered. We relate to them through storytelling. I believe the magic of storytelling lies in the fact that when we tell our own story we are sharing an individual experience. Yet, as we tell it and it travels from our lips to the ears, hearts and minds of our audiences, the story trans forms from being one person’s experience to one that contains a universal truth. Many in the audience can relate to that universal truth. We start out sharing our vulnerability and end up discovering a source of our strength. They are both the same.

Essential 2: Presence

Our presence is what attracts the audience to us. It is the magnet that pulls their attention towards us, that quality of poise and effectiveness that enables a presenter to achieve a close relationship with an audience. The energy in the room is fueled by our presence. If we are to be considered an “attraction,” it is our presence that makes us so.

A means to developing presence is learning to be in the moment, to “be in the here and now.” Wonderful opportunities to develop this quality offer themselves to me whenever I am at a professional gathering or a social event. As I’m talking to a friend or new acquaintance at a gathering, I see out of the corner of my eye someone else I am dying to speak to. Each time I resist the urge to let my attention drift from the person I’m speaking to, I enhance my presence. Each time I refocus my awareness to the one I am with, I bring myself to the present. The greatest gift I can give myself or my audience is my presence. If you need basic “presence” training, I encourage you to enroll in an improv theater class.

Essential 3: Spontaneity

We demonstrate the elements of poise and effectiveness to our audiences in what we do and how we react to unexpected situations. When we are on the platform, standing in front of our audiences, we are in a leadership position, both actually and metaphorically. They look to us very intently during situations that are unexpected in either their timing or impact. What are they looking for? They want to see how we respond spontaneously. Spontaneity is a skill that enhances presence and, as paradoxical as it seems, spontaneity can be practiced. In fact, in order to become spontaneous, you must practice spontaneity.

Blocks to spontaneity occur when thinking takes the place of acting from natural feeling. Spontaneous responses never seem contrived or manipulated. They seem natural because they are unaffected. You can’t worry about what people are going to think. You know very well that people are going to think what they want to, based on their own perceptions of the truth. You may as well act from your own heart, soul and experience. If you are going to go down, you may as well go down with your own truth.

We can nurture the three elements that help make us real, the three fundamental aspects of authenticity that make us attractive to the audience: vulnerability, presence and spontaneity. When the audience is charged by our presence and the attention is directed toward us, we are where we want to be and they are where we want them! This is what is meant by “holding the audience’s attention.”

Izzy Gesell (Izzy's website) is an organizational alchemist who helps individuals and organizations transform their thinking from commonplace to extraordinary. Through his keynotes, trainings, coaching and facilitated sessions, Izzy offers imaginative, intuitive and immediately useful insights and programs. He is skilled at delivering meaningful material in a way that makes participants enjoy their time with him.   
Izzy was one of the first to use Improv Theater concepts as tools for personal and organizational learning. He is the author of Playing Along: Group Learning Activities Borrowed From Improvisation Theater, a co-author of Cancer & the Healing Power of Play, a co-author of Humor Me: America’s Funniest Humorists on the Power of Laughter, and a contributor of a chapter on Improvisation as a facilitation tool in the IAF Group Facilitators Handbook. "His video course  on Applied Improv for Leadership" for Lynda.com was their first  course shot before a live audience. A second Lynda.com course, "Humor in the Workplace" was recently releeased

Is This Your First Sales Rodeo?

You finally have a meeting set up with the principles of a company you’ve been trying to get in front of for a long time. This isn’t your first rodeo, so you’ve prepared well. You’ve done your homework and have every expectation of a flawless presentation that goes off without a hitch.

It all sounds so easy except for the fact that when you’re potential clients or customers walk into your meeting, they’ll be working off their agenda—not yours. Because you’ve done your homework, you’ll be prepared to answer most of their questions and concerns, but don’t be surprised if they identify issues and ask questions that will make another meeting necessary. They might provide you with a new piece of information that makes the numbers you slaved over impossible to rework on the spot. Or, you might find out that there aren’t any decision makers sitting in on this meeting.

However the situation arises, it’s the way you handle the need for a follow-up meeting that can make the difference between the deal continuing to move forward, or dropping dead right at your feet. The rooky mistake is a response something like this, “Okay… I understated you need this information before we can move forward, but I don’t have it right now. I’ll work on it, and give you a call sometime next week so we can set up another meeting.”

Sometime next week?! Really?

It’s normal to be uncomfortable—maybe even annoyed—when a meeting doesn’t go as smoothly as you had hoped and planned for, but what’s your potential client supposed do between now and when you decide you’re over it and ready to talk with them again? Sit by the phone with bated breath waiting for you to call? It doesn’t matter why you need a follow-up meeting. If it’s due to something you did or didn’t do, take responsibility for it. If it’s the result of something the client did or didn’t do, be mindful and respectful of the fact that everybody is under a lot of business pressure these days.

Step up and take the initiative to schedule the date and time for another meeting before you leave this meeting. If you don’t, you’re counting on a lot of things not to happen between now and then—things like your competition reaching out to your potential client and securing a meeting while you’re still trying to decide if you’re ready to make the call.

Alan luoma is a Sales Coach and Speaker with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, marketing and product training. He holds key accounts with a national sustainable packaging company, is an expert that speaks and provides sales coaching to individuals and groups. He is a member of the Hartford Springfield Speakers Network and The National Speakers Association. You can view his profile on  LinkedIn, or contact him at luoma@snet.net

Finding Strawberries

Hello Speakers, Business Owners, Future Entrepreneurs and Americans,

Happy Memorial Day!

Today we pay tribute to those men and women who served in the Armed Forces protecting our nation especially those who paid the ultimate price that guaranteed our freedom. When I look at the flag of the United States I have so much pride to know there was so much sacrifice involved and continued sacrifice keep that flag-waving. We will always honor you and remember you.

This month’s topic is a true story and it started about five years ago. Let me give you some background about myself so that you can understand what my true purpose is in my current profession. In the early 1980's I started my career as a financial planner for a well-known Life Insurance Company. After a while, I developed my own style of recommendations and presentations based on what I saw in the late 80's. Many of the families were not able to achieve the goals they had set for themselves because of excess debt. I once knew a very loving couple that ended in divorce because of fighting over money and expenses, and in some cases, if divorce did not occur life in the house was so miserable they probably should have divorced. These are common occurrences. Over time I developed the philosophy to not sell, but to get to know people at a friendship level and discover what their issues were with money, debt and income. The true problem is most individuals or couples never put the brakes on for spending. Many do not ask for help because of shame. To this day, I still go out and meet couples and sit down and do what I call a life planning review. The problem still exists because few want to ask for help.

This story takes us back five years. I was called out to an appointment by a middle-aged couple who wanted to buy $150,000 of term life insurance on each of them. When I pulled in to the driveway I noticed two newer vehicles, the house was above average, yard was well maintained, backyard well-maintained with a nice swimming pool and I thought to myself, they have done well.

When I met with them I could tell by the look in their eyes something was wrong. I let them know that I am in the business of helping people not just to sell life insurance policies. I always do and income to debt ratio with families because it is the starting point and it summarizes all the income brought into the house and sets it against all the debt that sits in the house. After three hours, of listing every credit card they were close to $100,000 in revolving debt. I estimated they were paying these credit card companies almost $30,000 a year in interest. They were living a sick existence. Basically they were looking for  Life Insurance just to pay off their debt at the time of death.

 I closed up the briefcase and told them to put on a pot of coffee. I took out a lot of blank papers and started to lay out a plan for them. I am not a credit counselor, a credit psychologist or credit adviser. I help people out through common sense advice that always seems to have worked for me over 30 years. This case however, I had to refer to professionals. It was a worst-case scenario. The plan we laid out back in 2009 was a plan of 5 to 7 years that involved sacrifice, discipline, and diminished spending to reconstruct their lives financially so that they could start living normal. The last thing I told them is you must put a Strawberry on your refrigerator.  ”Finding the Strawberry” is just a metaphor that means to do something fun! For example: once a month, have date night together, pretend you're young adults again and you only have $15 to spend somewhere and make the best of it and have fun while you’re doing it. I explained to them that they needed to keep that Strawberry in front of them all the time, especially in the hard times when things aren’t always going so well. As time starts moving along you will need to start thinking bigger about what you’re going to do with all the money you’re freeing up in the future and you need to start planning for that now. 

 I told them you have to have look forward to things along the way as you continue on your course of achievement, reward yourself in small ways.

They wrote out their game plan and they turned in the direction of the professionals for help. I stayed in touch with them for the first year to make sure they were staying on track. On or about 2010 I lost my connection with them.

Present day.

A few weeks ago I received a call from one of the spouses I had worked with back in 2009. She said: “Hi John, how are you?”. I told her I was doing great and asked her how she was doing and she described to me that she received the certificate. I said to her: “What certificate?”. She said the certificate congratulating us on being totally debt free. She told me next month we don’t have to make any more payments. The money that we were once paying out every month is all ours from this point on. She said we always kept to the original plan you laid out for us and we made sure we kept finding our Strawberries along the way. Even though we didn’t spend a lot of money through the last five years my husband and I always made sure to have great times together because it was our goal as a couple to get out of this mess. She told me that the real big Strawberry that they planned together was a 10 day Caribbean Cruise. I told her that  they deserved every bit of it. I told her understand how successful that she and her husband were to have achieved their goal, because the statistics for success in long term debt reduction are minimal. She told me that they knew it was going to be a very tough road, but they also knew they could not live with the alternative. I suggested that we talk in the coming months about securing their retirement and redirecting this money so they can continue to find the Strawberries when they stop working. For now, go out and enjoy that Big Strawberry (The 10 Caribbean Cruise).  

  “The Insurance Coach”

      John P. Slosek, Jr 

   "The Insurance Coach ™"
Insurance Coach Radio Show
Airs Every Saturday Morning 8am 

   www.realoldies1250.net
          413-246-5037

Find me on Facebook".https://www.facebook.com/theinsurancecoach

The Four Elements of an Engaging & Impactful Story

Storytelling is a necessary ingredient in a speaker’s recipe for success. Stories work because they are able to connect a speaker’s unique experience to an audience’s universal truth. What starts as a personal recollection transforms itself on the way to the audience and is received as a shared perspective. This creates empathy for the speaker and gives validity to his/her concepts.

When developing a story, keep in mind the 4 features that combine to  create interesting and relate-able anecdotes:

The Set Up: Who is the main character and what is the situation they are in?

The Challenge: What is the problem/conflict the main character in finds him/herself in?

The Resolution: How does the story turn out? How is the problem solved?

The Relevance: How do you answer the audience’s main question, which is “So What?”?

Let me illustrate with a story….

              A few years ago I was on a small plane that was bouncing along through extreme turbulence like it was a rock skipping over a pond. I was so frightened that every time the plane hit a bump, I’d grip the sides of my seat and scream, “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.” And when the plane smoothed out, I’d exhale and relax.

          Sitting across the aisle from me was a boy who could not have been more than 6 years old. And EVERY time the plane hit a bump and I shrieked, “Ahhhhhhhh”, the kid would lift his arms in the air and yell, “Wheeeeee”, just like he was on a roller coaster.

        I was both humbled and enlightened as I realized that life had just slapped me in the face and said, “Pay attention.” I understood that the boy and myself were both being given exactly the same information. The data we used to judge our situation was exactly the same, yet our responses were completely different from each other. How could that be? Because our beliefs about the situation were different! And it is our beliefs about a situation, as expressed by our self-talk, that drive our behavior, not the nature of the situation itself.

               My lasting takeaway? If I am going to change the way I act in a situation, I have to change my self-talk rather than try and change the external situation.

Here is how I used the four ingredients to create my story:

• .            The Set Up: Who is the main character and what is the situation? (I was on a turbulent plane ride)

•           The Challenge: What is the problem/conflict the character finds him/herself in? (How come the boy is having fun and I’m so afraid?)

•          The Resolution: How does the story turn out? How is the problem solved? (I understand about self-talk)

•        So What?: (I now have a way to manage stress and deal with fear; I learned something about myself)

Now that you have the ingredients, go cook up your own great stories! 

Izzy Gesell (Izzy's website) is an organizational alchemist who helps individuals and organizations transform their thinking from commonplace to extraordinary. Through his keynotes, trainings, coaching and facilitated sessions, Izzy offers imaginative, intuitive and immediately useful insights and programs. He is skilled at delivering meaningful material in a way that makes participants enjoy their time with him.

Izzy was one of the first to use Improv Theater concepts as tools for personal and organizational learning. He is the author of Playing Along: Group Learning Activities Borrowed From Improvisation Theater, a co-author of Cancer & the Healing Power of Play, a co-author of Humor Me: America’s Funniest Humorists on the Power of Laughter, and a contributor of a chapter on Improvisation as a facilitation tool in the IAF Group Facilitators Handbook. His video course for Lynda.com was their first  course shot before a live audience. A second Lynda.com course, "Humor in the Workplace" was just released.