Muhammad Ali Leaves a Lasting Legacy

by Carolyn Finch

A week ago the news told us of the passing of Muhammad Ali, "the greatest." Yes he was the one who would "fly like a butterfly and sting
like a bee" according to him. I was especially saddened because I have looked at his picture daily for several decades. He had become a tiny part of my life. If you have ever been in one of my workshops or seminars no doubt you heard me tell a story about Muhammad Ali. Not so much a story about his Parkinson's disease, even though that was the hardest fight he ever fought and he won the right to even share that with the world. He changed the way people looked at boxing, politics, personal beliefs and self-motivation.

The stories I shared were about how he painted signs with his dad, took up boxing when his bike was stolen and he wanted to stand up for himself. Maybe you heard the story about how his prize money would be used to send a boy to Sparring Camp or to a private school. He never wanted people to know some of the things he did because underneath his spirit there was a humbleness about him.

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It was several decades ago when his Parkinson's reflected his shaking and his posture started to change. I saw this myself when I shook his hand and stood with him at Macy's, in Danbury, CT., he was one person I always wanted to meet. I got my wish when he came to Danbury promoting his men's cologne. I stood in line with many people waiting to be in his environment. When I met him he carefully wrote his name while I mentioned to him that I spoke about him in my speeches. He reached out and shook my hand. Note the beautiful expression on his face. He then got up and his photographer and my husband Don took pictures. Since then Muhammad Ali's picture has shared a frame with Zig Ziglar one of my mentors who encouraged me be a Professional Speaker.

They were two very different people but both messengers of the belief that doing for others first is doing for yourself as well. At one time Muhammad Ali was the most recognized American in the world. He believed and achieved. He was opinionated but aren't we all? What lessons he taught us! What stamina he had,even when he burned his arm during the lighting of the Olympic flame from the torch carried around the world. Nobody really knew about his burn. It was because he kept his arm straight at his side to avoid the shaking from Parkinson's. Thanks for being you Muhammad Ali and showing us all it's okay to fight for what you believe in. I'll be seeing you right there on my desk but do rest in peace.

                                                           

                                                 Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert
                                                      Professional Speaker-Health and Wellness Coach-Author

                                     Carolyn will put a spark in your next meeting!   Call now                                       Carolyn@carolynfinch.com  203 405 3972   203 512 4798 

      

A Breath of Fresh Air

It is Springtime! Time to roll down your windows on the car and breath fresh air.. Oh you say you have allergies and the pollen bothers you or maybe it's the dust or the exhaust. Enough is enough. Perhaps it's time for you to understand allergies but most of all your lungs. Go ahead right NOW, stop and put both your hands on top of your lungs. I know. I know you can't put your hands on your lungs only a doctor in surgery can do that. You see your lungs are protected by your ribs and muscles, then layers of tissue and skin. And if you do not breath you die! However, seldom does anyone think about their lungs. I had a great nephew with a disease called Cystic Fibrosis. This can be life-threatening but today can be treated in many ways even lung transplants. Isn't that amazing? This is a disease that may have mucus that is too think and sweat that is too salty. If the mucus is think it clogs the lungs and it is hard to breath. It can also block the pancreas which is used in the process of digestion.

Most people become aware of their lungs after they have climbed the stairs and then stood still holding on to something because they are short of breath. Shortness of breath and allergies are part of many diseases so these symptoms are "red flags." In other words what is your body telling you when you have shortness of breath? Chances are it is saying exercise, exercise, get fresh air, learn to breath, cut down on the mucus from foods that create acid and mucus within your body, loose weight and most of all drink more water.

We as a society have never been taught the symptoms of our body that contribute to disease so I will enlighten you NOW. It has been said that allergies are inherited. Yes that is possible. As a child I couldn't stand wool clothing and my body itched like mad, I always seemed to have swollen glands which appeared to tell me I was having mumps for the tenth time. As an adult I too sneezed way too much and my eyes teared. I had allergy treatments and lived on a medication as needed. What I hadn't learned was to drink lots of water and exercise more and get fresh air. Once I did this on a regular basis I realized that the body needs to replace water always for the organs to function properly. I haven't had allergies since. The lungs need 11-12 ounces of water a day merely so they are capable of functioning. The mucus from foods also creates some allergies.......... I will address that next month so stay tuned. Meanwhile go to Nutrition Monday/Facebook for LifeStyle information. Until then keep breathing and drinking water daily. Half your weight in ounces daily to maintain to function.

Carolyn Finch
Speech Pathologist and Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert.
That means there will be a spark in your next meeting when Carolyn is there speaking.
Programs available are: Oops! Your Body Language is Showing, Eating Can be Fun When You Learn How and Taking Care of You by Moving-Eating-Thinking well. CALL NOW for more information.
203 405 3972 or cell 203 512 4798 or carolyn@carolynfinch.com  or friend her on Facebook or go to Carolyn Finch LinkedIn  or Tweet!

What is Your Communication LifeStyle?

By Carolyn Finch

As I waited at the stop sign for the children to
get off the bus, I noticed a mother with a stroller and a sleeping baby waiting at the bus stop. I was only about 15 feet from the front of the bus and could see parents standing around. This mother was holding her smart phone with her head bent downward and at times would stop and then text  or enter a number and then the phone went back up to her ear. I never saw her check on the baby in the stroller nor did she look up. Soon a cute little light skinned boy with curly brown hair about 5 or 6 years old jumped off the bus and waved a paper with a painting at his mother. Mom paid no attention to the boy so he grabbed her leg and shouted "look mom look mom"
She looked down at him and shouted "I told you not to talk to me when I'm on the phone."

My heart sank and I wanted to cry as I'm sure that the little boy wanted to do. What an ideal time for communication. This amazing transition time when a child is enthusiastic about something he has created and at the same time happy to be getting home from school. Was this a dysfunctional communication moment?  It certainly appeared that way. Would this be the base to poor communication for the next few minutes, hours and maybe even days?

The  one major aspect of being a human being is that we are able to communicate orally. Have we forgotten to be thankful for this gift of true conversation? With the advent of smart phones we have a new addiction. Research shows that the average person with a smartphone texts an average of 100 time a day wow! This type of communication determines our lifestyle and our lifestyle determines our communication.

If we have an addiction of any kind such as shopping, drinking, drugs, sickness, foods whatever,
our typical conversation will include words, phrases and stories related to our addiction. Doesn't sound like a learning listener and quality conversation to me. Therefore my challenge to you as a Blog reader is to look at everyone you speak with, eye to eye and belly to belly. This way you will be listening to the other person and as a reward you will learn something from what they say. So add to your communication lifestyle the ability to listen with your eyes.

You can improve your communication by helping yourself become more enlightened after hearing me speak at your next conference. Call now for more information or for  a one on one Speech Coaching session.203 405 3972.

Carolyn Finch Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert TM
Professional Speaker who will put a SPARK in your next meeting!       carolyn@carolynfinch.com

Listener Awareness

by Carolyn Finch

Whether you are speaking to one or 1000, there is very little you might know about how the brains of your listener and audience members are functioning. When we are speaking to large audiences we know that we will not get through to everyone. Therefore we need to inject a lot of emotion for them to understand what we are really saying. That is why expression, change of voice, taking on an accent or using visuals and props helps the listener function better, We do know that men and women tend do think differently.Yes my friends it is true. They also hear and see differently..

Women tend to use communication from both sides of their brain and have more visual, verbal and emotional responses. Men tend to favor the left side of their brain and prefer numbers, facts, cerebral reasoning and they like to see movement. No matter whether male or female the brain could be damaged enough to know that there is catch up time needed when speaking from a platform. There is a distance in feet and yards and body noises and speech that are accompanied by gestures and body movement take a few delayed seconds to be seen.  When someone is close and the conversation tends to be one on one most of the communication is understood.

The picture above is one that is used in diagnosing a language disorder by a Speech Pathologist. In my Speech Pathology days I would use this to visibly see where there would be some brain damage and how there can be a weakness on one side of the brain. That is what we call left sided neglect, or a left side of the body weakness in perception. Many people in our audiences and network groups may have a weakness like this. Therefore when you are speaking in front of an audience whether a small group seated around a table or a large auditorium at a conference center, be aware of the left and right sides of your listeners bodies and the room.

Do your best to turn your body ever so slightly toward the group on the left and right when speaking from a platform and focus your attention with the one on one conversation by standing eye to eye and belly to belly. Pause to focus on listeners and this will also help you keep your own focus too.

The Speaker with a Spark!

Teacher-Coach to Medical-Financial-Legal Professionals & Associations 

Call or E-mail to set up YOUR programs for 2016-17-18 or to get to know us better.

203-405-3972        carolyn@carolynfinch.com     WWW.Carolynfinch.com

HAPPY NEW YOU

Welcome to a new day, a new year and a new you. I truly believe that this year is going to be absolutely amazing.  Do you remember saying to someone “I learn something new every day?” If that is true then you have learned 365 things last year and now it is up to you to put them into practice. Ah there’s the rub. It is very difficult to change our habits. Especially when we are overwhelmed. No matter how hard we work at it we have to;

 1. Take action.
 2. Believe in ourselves.
 3. Create workable solutions

Actually you can take a piece of paper and write down some of the outstanding happenings in your life last year. You are in luck if you keep a log, Journal or have a calendar in your phone, in a planner, on the wall or on line. Still seems overwhelming doesn’t it?

At the end of each month I write up a monthly review of everything that has happened during the month. Obviously we don’t have everything written down because it would be too much information. I highlight the important issues based on people I have met, activities that I have done and ideas that have come into my mind.

Many years our New Year’s Resolutions fall by the wayside and never get completed. I am speaking from years of experience. However, I have changed and also learned the secret to change.  We become enthusiastic and so do our friends and associates. There are more people attending the gym or Y in January. More people go to church and because budgets may be less, fewer items are being brought into homes in January.

Make three New Year’s resolutions and keep them small so you have a possibility of creating ways to achieve them.  Make one that requires full body action. After I have lost 5 pounds I will reward myself by going to the theater with a friend to see Star Wars or whatever you decide. Saying you will lose weight is too big, broad and overwhelming.
The second New Year Resolution is to believe in yourself. Therefore it is time to write to yourself and tell yourself how wonderful you are/ Go ahead I dare you! Now your third resolution is to create a workable solution. Start with only one. Mine is to find more time in my day by delegating the food shopping to my husband and now it is up to him to reach his goal.

Remember you want to: 1. Take action 2. Believe in yourself and 3. Create a workable solution. Keep a calendar on the wall.

 Professional Speaker - Trainer - Facilitator  carolyn@carolynfinch.com 

  203 405 3972

“Understanding the Energy of Attraction, Part 2: The 3 Essentials of Attraction”

“Energy Manager” is one of the many roles a presenter plays when speaking in front of a group.  We know, as do the folks who ask us to present, that the attendees at a program experience one of two energy flow states. At just about any moment, they're either being energized or they are being drained of their liveliness.

Essential 1: Vulnerability

Audiences want to know how we’ve dealt with the problems in our lives and what we have to teach them. No Stand-up comedian comes out and says “Good evening! My life is great, things are smooth, and the trust fund check always arrives on time. Can you relate?” Comedians come out and speak rather to the fears and frustrations they (and we) encounter: politics, relationships, self-esteem, etc. The audience nods and says to itself, “Yeah, me too. What did you do about it?”

Our  audiences relate to us through the challenges we’ve encountered. We relate to them through storytelling. I believe the magic of storytelling lies in the fact that when we tell our own story we are sharing an individual experience. Yet, as we tell it and it travels from our lips to the ears, hearts and minds of our audiences, the story trans forms from being one person’s experience to one that contains a universal truth. Many in the audience can relate to that universal truth. We start out sharing our vulnerability and end up discovering a source of our strength. They are both the same.

Essential 2: Presence

Our presence is what attracts the audience to us. It is the magnet that pulls their attention towards us, that quality of poise and effectiveness that enables a presenter to achieve a close relationship with an audience. The energy in the room is fueled by our presence. If we are to be considered an “attraction,” it is our presence that makes us so.

A means to developing presence is learning to be in the moment, to “be in the here and now.” Wonderful opportunities to develop this quality offer themselves to me whenever I am at a professional gathering or a social event. As I’m talking to a friend or new acquaintance at a gathering, I see out of the corner of my eye someone else I am dying to speak to. Each time I resist the urge to let my attention drift from the person I’m speaking to, I enhance my presence. Each time I refocus my awareness to the one I am with, I bring myself to the present. The greatest gift I can give myself or my audience is my presence. If you need basic “presence” training, I encourage you to enroll in an improv theater class.

Essential 3: Spontaneity

We demonstrate the elements of poise and effectiveness to our audiences in what we do and how we react to unexpected situations. When we are on the platform, standing in front of our audiences, we are in a leadership position, both actually and metaphorically. They look to us very intently during situations that are unexpected in either their timing or impact. What are they looking for? They want to see how we respond spontaneously. Spontaneity is a skill that enhances presence and, as paradoxical as it seems, spontaneity can be practiced. In fact, in order to become spontaneous, you must practice spontaneity.

Blocks to spontaneity occur when thinking takes the place of acting from natural feeling. Spontaneous responses never seem contrived or manipulated. They seem natural because they are unaffected. You can’t worry about what people are going to think. You know very well that people are going to think what they want to, based on their own perceptions of the truth. You may as well act from your own heart, soul and experience. If you are going to go down, you may as well go down with your own truth.

We can nurture the three elements that help make us real, the three fundamental aspects of authenticity that make us attractive to the audience: vulnerability, presence and spontaneity. When the audience is charged by our presence and the attention is directed toward us, we are where we want to be and they are where we want them! This is what is meant by “holding the audience’s attention.”

Izzy Gesell (Izzy's website) is an organizational alchemist who helps individuals and organizations transform their thinking from commonplace to extraordinary. Through his keynotes, trainings, coaching and facilitated sessions, Izzy offers imaginative, intuitive and immediately useful insights and programs. He is skilled at delivering meaningful material in a way that makes participants enjoy their time with him.   
Izzy was one of the first to use Improv Theater concepts as tools for personal and organizational learning. He is the author of Playing Along: Group Learning Activities Borrowed From Improvisation Theater, a co-author of Cancer & the Healing Power of Play, a co-author of Humor Me: America’s Funniest Humorists on the Power of Laughter, and a contributor of a chapter on Improvisation as a facilitation tool in the IAF Group Facilitators Handbook. "His video course  on Applied Improv for Leadership" for Lynda.com was their first  course shot before a live audience. A second Lynda.com course, "Humor in the Workplace" was recently releeased