What is Your Communication LifeStyle?

By Carolyn Finch

As I waited at the stop sign for the children to
get off the bus, I noticed a mother with a stroller and a sleeping baby waiting at the bus stop. I was only about 15 feet from the front of the bus and could see parents standing around. This mother was holding her smart phone with her head bent downward and at times would stop and then text  or enter a number and then the phone went back up to her ear. I never saw her check on the baby in the stroller nor did she look up. Soon a cute little light skinned boy with curly brown hair about 5 or 6 years old jumped off the bus and waved a paper with a painting at his mother. Mom paid no attention to the boy so he grabbed her leg and shouted "look mom look mom"
She looked down at him and shouted "I told you not to talk to me when I'm on the phone."

My heart sank and I wanted to cry as I'm sure that the little boy wanted to do. What an ideal time for communication. This amazing transition time when a child is enthusiastic about something he has created and at the same time happy to be getting home from school. Was this a dysfunctional communication moment?  It certainly appeared that way. Would this be the base to poor communication for the next few minutes, hours and maybe even days?

The  one major aspect of being a human being is that we are able to communicate orally. Have we forgotten to be thankful for this gift of true conversation? With the advent of smart phones we have a new addiction. Research shows that the average person with a smartphone texts an average of 100 time a day wow! This type of communication determines our lifestyle and our lifestyle determines our communication.

If we have an addiction of any kind such as shopping, drinking, drugs, sickness, foods whatever,
our typical conversation will include words, phrases and stories related to our addiction. Doesn't sound like a learning listener and quality conversation to me. Therefore my challenge to you as a Blog reader is to look at everyone you speak with, eye to eye and belly to belly. This way you will be listening to the other person and as a reward you will learn something from what they say. So add to your communication lifestyle the ability to listen with your eyes.

You can improve your communication by helping yourself become more enlightened after hearing me speak at your next conference. Call now for more information or for  a one on one Speech Coaching session.203 405 3972.

Carolyn Finch Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert TM
Professional Speaker who will put a SPARK in your next meeting!       carolyn@carolynfinch.com

Listener Awareness

by Carolyn Finch

Whether you are speaking to one or 1000, there is very little you might know about how the brains of your listener and audience members are functioning. When we are speaking to large audiences we know that we will not get through to everyone. Therefore we need to inject a lot of emotion for them to understand what we are really saying. That is why expression, change of voice, taking on an accent or using visuals and props helps the listener function better, We do know that men and women tend do think differently.Yes my friends it is true. They also hear and see differently..

Women tend to use communication from both sides of their brain and have more visual, verbal and emotional responses. Men tend to favor the left side of their brain and prefer numbers, facts, cerebral reasoning and they like to see movement. No matter whether male or female the brain could be damaged enough to know that there is catch up time needed when speaking from a platform. There is a distance in feet and yards and body noises and speech that are accompanied by gestures and body movement take a few delayed seconds to be seen.  When someone is close and the conversation tends to be one on one most of the communication is understood.

The picture above is one that is used in diagnosing a language disorder by a Speech Pathologist. In my Speech Pathology days I would use this to visibly see where there would be some brain damage and how there can be a weakness on one side of the brain. That is what we call left sided neglect, or a left side of the body weakness in perception. Many people in our audiences and network groups may have a weakness like this. Therefore when you are speaking in front of an audience whether a small group seated around a table or a large auditorium at a conference center, be aware of the left and right sides of your listeners bodies and the room.

Do your best to turn your body ever so slightly toward the group on the left and right when speaking from a platform and focus your attention with the one on one conversation by standing eye to eye and belly to belly. Pause to focus on listeners and this will also help you keep your own focus too.

The Speaker with a Spark!

Teacher-Coach to Medical-Financial-Legal Professionals & Associations 

Call or E-mail to set up YOUR programs for 2016-17-18 or to get to know us better.

203-405-3972        carolyn@carolynfinch.com     WWW.Carolynfinch.com

The Power of Focusing on the Present.

When was the last time you were talking to someone and they pulled out their cell phone to answer a call or read an email that just pinged its presence? What was your response? Did you think to yourself, “Wow, I would never do that – very disrespectful and unprofessional.” Or did you pull out your own cell phone to check for messages and emails glad the other person reached for theirs first.
We all feel the demands of our jobs. And yes, we have technologies at our disposal that make staying in contact easier, but that’s not the same thing as connecting. Regardless of the excuse you are using – multitasking, juggling priorities, making the most out of the time you have, etc. –be prepared to admit that trying to do everything at once is NOT the best recipe for success.
Consistency builds confidence. When you apply the idea of consistency to the ways you connect with your clients, it builds their confidence in you. Here are five simple consistency solutions that will show your clients how much respect you have for them and their time:

1.  Set specific times for answering phone calls, correspondence, and email. Make sure to communicate your daily ritual to people so they'll have a good idea of when you'll be responding to them. If you absolutely have to interrupt a conversation to take a call, let the person you're speaking to know you might be interrupted before your conversation begins.

2.  When you're in a meeting shut off your portable devices and focus on the meeting. Think about the message you're sending when your phone rings (loud enough for everybody to hear) and you stand up and run out of the room like a rabbit being chased by a hound. Yes, you’re important, we get it. But is that the way you do business? Here one minute – gone the next?

3.  When you're sitting down to focus on work that needs to get done, turn off your cell phone and portable devices, and shut off the email notifications function on your computer. If you've been setting yourself up for success, your clients already know you do this. Nothing beats getting a project done early as the result of your focused thought.

4.  If you have to take calls while you're driving, commit to using a headset or speakerphone. If you need to look at notes – or take notes – please pull over. You're putting both yourself and everyone in the path of your car at risk when you don’t.

5.  Don't restrict these solutions to work. It’s just as rude to interrupt the conversations of family and friends. Turn your devices off when it’s appropriate.
Our devices may put us in contact with each other quicker, but no device can do the job of making the connection that’s necessary for building relationships. Relationships, both professional and personal, are built when you treat people with respect.

Alan Luoma is a Sales Coach and Speaker with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, and sales and product training. He holds key accounts with a national sustainable packaging company, is a motivational speaker, and provides sales training to individuals and groups. He is a member of the Hartford Springfield Speakers Network. You can view his profile on LinkedIn, or contact him at Luoma@snet.

HOW TO FRUSTRATE YOUR CUSTOMER

When you are out of sync with your customer’s style of presenting, you can frustrate them and lose their confidence. The greater the mismatch, the greater the frustration. 

Have you seen the television commercial of the chameleon walking past many different colors of paint, his own color changing to match it as he goes past? There is a lesson there for us~~not that I am comparing you to a lizard, you understand. Think about it this way: Good communication involves matching one’s pace and wording with the others in the conversation. While we are in customer service mode, it’s not about us.

 

On our own time, we might wish to impress our English professor with our vocabulary of esoteric, four-syllable words, or our new manager with our command of industry jargon. Talking with the customer~~client, resident, donor~~requires a different set of skills: Social skills. Pay attention to the customer’s delivery. Is it slow and chatty? Is it fast-paced and to the point? The first one, provided you are not in a crunch situation, may enjoy chatting about the weird weather we’ve had lately. The second one’s hair is on fire, so drop the small talk and pick up the extinguisher. And you will lose credibility with the one who has a good command of technical terms if you use words like “thingamabob” or “whatchamacallit.”

Just as it helps to allow your posture to reflect a customer’s body language, it helps to allow your speech to echo their vocal patterns. Do be careful; there can be a fine line between resonating with your customer versus looking or sounding as though you are consciously copying them. If you sense that your customer is receiving the wrong message, stop your attempt.

This is all about your ability to recognize, respect, and meet your customer’s needs. We, as humans, feel comfortable with those who seem similar to us, yet have the knowledge to fix our problem. Sometimes it is important to create comfort and rapport; other times action is called for, rather than niceties. Your Emotional Intelligence will guide you in the right direction. More about that in May.

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates is the go-to person for all  
your social skills training needs. Find her at
JZNAssociates.com, or on LinkedIn. 
JZN Associates is available for guided discussions,
workshops, or seminars. Inquire about special retainer rates.

 

 

 

HOW TO GET RID OF THE IRATE CUSTOMER

Whenever we discuss customer service, the subject of the irate customer arises. Some actually refer to the person as “the Customer from Hell.” You will recognize the person immediately by their tone of voice, their words, and their body language. They have built up a good head of steam.

Wait a minute! If the customer is in Hell, quite likely someone or something in your company drove them there. This interaction is your opportunity to rescue them from Hell, alive and appreciative, if at all possible.

When confronted with a customer who is demonstrating emotion you must give them the opportunity to work through the emotion before you can start problem solving. Searching for a solution before the emotion is addressed can allow the emotion to remain and fester.

Address the emotion, without emphasizing it. You might say, “I can hear your frustration.” (But not, “You sound angry enough to kill someone.” Why give them ideas?)

Invite them to tell you what is happening. Say something like, “Could you please tell me exactly what happened?”

Validate what they are feeling.  “The delivery arrived too late for the party? No wonder you were frustrated.” Or, "I'd feel that way, too."

Actively Listen to them. If you are face to face, make eye contact, nod encouragingly. If you are on the phone, say that you understand, or make sounds of empathy. This assures the customer that you are engaged, and have not put the phone down and walked away. It may be appropriate to let the customer know you are taking notes.

Withhold Your Own Emotion. The customer has enough emotion for both of you. You are not to emote, not to defend (or blaspheme) a coworker or company policy. If you feel you are being verbally attacked, set that aside for the moment. One of you needs to be analytical and dispassionate, and that’s you.

Nonjudgmentally Rephrase what you heard as opportunity presents. “Sounds as though” or perhaps, “If I heard you correctly…”  

Partner toward Possible Solutions: Once the emotion has been addressed, and only then, you can begin to work with your customer on a mutually satisfactory solution. That is how you get rid of the customer from Hell~~by respectfully leading them out of Hell and back to the world of working partnerships.

Jeannie Newman, founder and president of JZN Associates, is the go-to person for all your group's Emotional Intelligence needs. She brings her experience, compassion, and sense of humor to the arena of social skills. She is available for guided discussions, workshops, and seminars on all related topics. Not sure if she can help your group? Attend one of her talks. Find out more at JZNAssociates.com; join her on LinkedIn.

FIVE USEFUL TOOLS

Last month I assured you that a complaining customer is actually a gift, in part because you cannot correct a problem until you know that one exists.

There is another reason for you to welcome the complaining customer: The fact that your customer chooses to engage with you is evidence of their loyalty to your company. Whether or not you are able to solve the customer’s initial complaint, your conversation with them is your opportunity to strengthen the bond they share with you.

When you or your staff lack the training to manage a customer complaint, you might shy away from it, or mishandle it, either of which results in a less than positive outcome. So here are five useful tools for you. 

1. Greet the complainer in a warm and professional manner, putting aside any bias about the validity of the complaint.

Until your staff learn proper techniques, they are at risk of reverting to childhood default mechanisms, which involve self-defense, or denying responsibility, or turning blame back on the customer.  That’s when they are most at risk of uttering pathetic responses like, “That wasn’t’ my fault,” or, “It’s always been done that way,“ or, “Nobody else has had a problem with it.” These are not relationship building mindsets. The best way to nurture the relationship~~and your bottom line, for that matter~~is by responding to the concerns with respect and an open mind.

2. Practice active listening techniques.

3. Explain your next action step and time line.

4. Thank the customer for bringing this to your attention!
 

Whether you agree with them or not, they have let you know that they care enough about your company to go to the trouble of contacting you. Nurture that!

5. Follow through.
 

The follow through is as important as the expression of gratitude. If you fail to keep your word, you have effectively sabotaged your entire effort.

We have been discussing a complaint made by a fairly dispassionate customer, as opposed to an irate customer.  That scenario will be discussed in a future post.

In the meantime~~~Happy weekend to all!

Jeannie Newman is the founder and president of JZN Associates. She has a wealth of experience in staff training and customer retention across several industries,
in both the for profit and non-profit arenas. Find her at JZNAssociates.com.