What is Your Communication LifeStyle?

By Carolyn Finch

As I waited at the stop sign for the children to
get off the bus, I noticed a mother with a stroller and a sleeping baby waiting at the bus stop. I was only about 15 feet from the front of the bus and could see parents standing around. This mother was holding her smart phone with her head bent downward and at times would stop and then text  or enter a number and then the phone went back up to her ear. I never saw her check on the baby in the stroller nor did she look up. Soon a cute little light skinned boy with curly brown hair about 5 or 6 years old jumped off the bus and waved a paper with a painting at his mother. Mom paid no attention to the boy so he grabbed her leg and shouted "look mom look mom"
She looked down at him and shouted "I told you not to talk to me when I'm on the phone."

My heart sank and I wanted to cry as I'm sure that the little boy wanted to do. What an ideal time for communication. This amazing transition time when a child is enthusiastic about something he has created and at the same time happy to be getting home from school. Was this a dysfunctional communication moment?  It certainly appeared that way. Would this be the base to poor communication for the next few minutes, hours and maybe even days?

The  one major aspect of being a human being is that we are able to communicate orally. Have we forgotten to be thankful for this gift of true conversation? With the advent of smart phones we have a new addiction. Research shows that the average person with a smartphone texts an average of 100 time a day wow! This type of communication determines our lifestyle and our lifestyle determines our communication.

If we have an addiction of any kind such as shopping, drinking, drugs, sickness, foods whatever,
our typical conversation will include words, phrases and stories related to our addiction. Doesn't sound like a learning listener and quality conversation to me. Therefore my challenge to you as a Blog reader is to look at everyone you speak with, eye to eye and belly to belly. This way you will be listening to the other person and as a reward you will learn something from what they say. So add to your communication lifestyle the ability to listen with your eyes.

You can improve your communication by helping yourself become more enlightened after hearing me speak at your next conference. Call now for more information or for  a one on one Speech Coaching session.203 405 3972.

Carolyn Finch Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert TM
Professional Speaker who will put a SPARK in your next meeting!       carolyn@carolynfinch.com

Listener Awareness

by Carolyn Finch

Whether you are speaking to one or 1000, there is very little you might know about how the brains of your listener and audience members are functioning. When we are speaking to large audiences we know that we will not get through to everyone. Therefore we need to inject a lot of emotion for them to understand what we are really saying. That is why expression, change of voice, taking on an accent or using visuals and props helps the listener function better, We do know that men and women tend do think differently.Yes my friends it is true. They also hear and see differently..

Women tend to use communication from both sides of their brain and have more visual, verbal and emotional responses. Men tend to favor the left side of their brain and prefer numbers, facts, cerebral reasoning and they like to see movement. No matter whether male or female the brain could be damaged enough to know that there is catch up time needed when speaking from a platform. There is a distance in feet and yards and body noises and speech that are accompanied by gestures and body movement take a few delayed seconds to be seen.  When someone is close and the conversation tends to be one on one most of the communication is understood.

The picture above is one that is used in diagnosing a language disorder by a Speech Pathologist. In my Speech Pathology days I would use this to visibly see where there would be some brain damage and how there can be a weakness on one side of the brain. That is what we call left sided neglect, or a left side of the body weakness in perception. Many people in our audiences and network groups may have a weakness like this. Therefore when you are speaking in front of an audience whether a small group seated around a table or a large auditorium at a conference center, be aware of the left and right sides of your listeners bodies and the room.

Do your best to turn your body ever so slightly toward the group on the left and right when speaking from a platform and focus your attention with the one on one conversation by standing eye to eye and belly to belly. Pause to focus on listeners and this will also help you keep your own focus too.

The Speaker with a Spark!

Teacher-Coach to Medical-Financial-Legal Professionals & Associations 

Call or E-mail to set up YOUR programs for 2016-17-18 or to get to know us better.

203-405-3972        carolyn@carolynfinch.com     WWW.Carolynfinch.com

Happy Valentine's Day

by Carolyn Finch

Life has its ups and downs and when we are down we are feeling sorry for ourselves. When we are up we want to share ourselves with others. Isn’t it interesting that the reading of a heart beat also goes up and down hmm-mm? Then comes a day in February that is called Valentine's Day. Did it start with the card companies? No it started in 260 AD. It happened during the rule of the Roman Empire, and the beginning of Christianity. Now picture the Romans in their Togas.and think what it might have been like at the pagan Lupercalia Fertility Festival.

To begin the festival according to the History Channel, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman Priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome were thought to have been cared for by the she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. The men would then cut the goat hide into strips, dip then into the sacrificial blood and go into the streets gently slapping the women and the crop fields with the goat hides. Roman women were not fearful but welcomed  the touch of the hide because it was believed to make then more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day according to legend, women of the city would put their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each pick a name and become paired for a year with their chosen woman. Sometimes these relationships would lead to marriage.

The celebration was tolerated by the early Christians but when there was more power the Christian church  named the Lupa celebration St. Valentine's Day to Christianize it more. By the Middle Ages Love found it's way into the yearly celebration of  St. Valentine's Day and the first written valentine greeting was in 1400. Who was St. Valentine? That is a lively discussion you may wish to have after you Google it. There was always much confusion and controversy about the day and the saint so in 1969 the Roman Catholic Church removed the Saint and the retailer took over. 

You may be a part of the 120  billion dollars spent on this holiday every year in the United States. This is spent on candy, flowers and gifts. (jewelry wins out.) So go ahead and share yourself with others through whatever means you wish. For me love hugs are the best. Think about what is the very best gift you can receive? It is another day of life. So breathe deeply, put your hand over your heart, feel it beat and think about the ups and and downs in your life and move on with gratitude. Now reach around your body with both arms and give yourself the biggest hug you have ever had, you deserve it!      Happy Valentine's Day.

      “She’ll hold them in the palm of her hand”

Let Carolyn hold your audience in the palm of her hand…“Carolyn was dynamic, exciting and very knowledgeable. She knows how to keep her audience involved,
I recommend her without any reservation”                  George Tomka,   Meeting of Lutheran Educators

  Carolyn Finch    Master Teacher - Coach - Speaker     
 Popular Topics                                                                                      

 Oops! Your Body Language is Showing!                              
  What are others thinking? How’s my health?  Who’s Lying?                                   

             Communicate or Suffocate                                         
 What’s your Communication Fitness Score? Learn New Skills                    www.carolynfinch.com    bodylanguagexpert@gmail.com
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Moving Well

I grew up on Long Island and my parents were very understanding of the time I spent with my friends.
Therefore in sixth grade I traveled with my friend Wendy to a little town in Connecticut. The name of the town was Woodbury. We stayed with her grandmother and grandfather in their home on a main street. I remember the floors slanted a bit and I though the house was wonderful. When I moved to Cheshire, CT many years later I went to Woodbury and found the Wheeler house, now  a part of the historic district of town. I passed the house several times when my stepdaughter and husband moved to Woodbury and would say tell the story repeatedly about my sixth grade adventures with the Wheelers.

Since then I have moved several times. I also have moved in and out of offices and a pre-school, private kindergarten building that we owned. Moving our belongings and furniture is something that most peoples can relate to these days. However moving is decreasing. According to the census only 2.5 percent of people in the United States moved last year.

Perhaps you have moved due to a job change, marital status change, health problems, downsizing a home, less garden and upkeep. Whatever your personal reason for moving you probably remember the boxes, the friends and family that have helped you and oh yes, the pizza and fast food meals in between.#
In my Keynote Speech Live Life Every Golden Minute (and sometimes titled Taking Care of You) I speak about the Trinity of health: moving well, eating well and thinking well. I usually refer to the individual who 1. Needs to move their physical body well. 2. Understand how to move up, move over and move out when appropriate and 3. Move within the team through ideas and energy.

All of these happened during our move. My son and grandsons helped joyously and we were thankful that they could help us as we made another move to a place for people over 55, next to the town of Woodbury CT. The street we moved to is Wheeler Rd.

Carolyn Finch
Communication LifeStyle Expert

Body Language Expert

Keynote/Breakout Speaker

203-275-3133 Cell:203-512-4798
carolyn@carolynfinch.com

www.Carolynfinch.com