What is Your Communication LifeStyle?

By Carolyn Finch

As I waited at the stop sign for the children to
get off the bus, I noticed a mother with a stroller and a sleeping baby waiting at the bus stop. I was only about 15 feet from the front of the bus and could see parents standing around. This mother was holding her smart phone with her head bent downward and at times would stop and then text  or enter a number and then the phone went back up to her ear. I never saw her check on the baby in the stroller nor did she look up. Soon a cute little light skinned boy with curly brown hair about 5 or 6 years old jumped off the bus and waved a paper with a painting at his mother. Mom paid no attention to the boy so he grabbed her leg and shouted "look mom look mom"
She looked down at him and shouted "I told you not to talk to me when I'm on the phone."

My heart sank and I wanted to cry as I'm sure that the little boy wanted to do. What an ideal time for communication. This amazing transition time when a child is enthusiastic about something he has created and at the same time happy to be getting home from school. Was this a dysfunctional communication moment?  It certainly appeared that way. Would this be the base to poor communication for the next few minutes, hours and maybe even days?

The  one major aspect of being a human being is that we are able to communicate orally. Have we forgotten to be thankful for this gift of true conversation? With the advent of smart phones we have a new addiction. Research shows that the average person with a smartphone texts an average of 100 time a day wow! This type of communication determines our lifestyle and our lifestyle determines our communication.

If we have an addiction of any kind such as shopping, drinking, drugs, sickness, foods whatever,
our typical conversation will include words, phrases and stories related to our addiction. Doesn't sound like a learning listener and quality conversation to me. Therefore my challenge to you as a Blog reader is to look at everyone you speak with, eye to eye and belly to belly. This way you will be listening to the other person and as a reward you will learn something from what they say. So add to your communication lifestyle the ability to listen with your eyes.

You can improve your communication by helping yourself become more enlightened after hearing me speak at your next conference. Call now for more information or for  a one on one Speech Coaching session.203 405 3972.

Carolyn Finch Body Language and Communication LifeStyle Expert TM
Professional Speaker who will put a SPARK in your next meeting!       carolyn@carolynfinch.com

To Breathe or Not To Breathe? That is the question!

Breathe

Of course you know the answer.  If you don’t breathe you die.  We can live without food for weeks. We can live without water for several days but we can only live without air for about 6 minutes. Then the brain cells start to die.  If you are in a profession where you depend on your voice to sell a  product, ideas and benefits then a quick survey of your skills of breathing need to be assessed.

One of the ways I check breathing in my presentations and Speeches is to have audience members stand with the back of their legs against their chairs. Go ahead, stand up now and feel that chair behind your legs. That’s because when you breath gets thin you will want to sit down immediately, we don’t want any fainting! Your breath is your life and your vitality yet most people never think about breath as a reflection of their health. Here’s the test! While standing you will exhale all that “used air.” Let it make a noise as it escapes through the little round hole as you blow out the carbon dioxide. Then open your mouth and breathe in the oxygen filled air and let it make a noise across your vocal folds. Silently count as the air rushes in. When you can no longer breathe in, sit down and release your air.

 If you are breathing well your count would be 20 or more counts during the inhale. The average person has a count between 7 and 10. If you were in this range than remember to go outside every day and breathe outdoor air. Indoor air contains other peoples used air, pollutants including: paint and plastic fumes, chemicals, smoke, animal and people odors, cooking odors and 100 other substances that you can think of if you want to. IF your breath is on the weaker side practice diaphragmatic breathing

Almost anyone can learn to breathe with diaphragm muscle support. It does take practice. When you breathe deeply, you breathe automatically through your nose.  A good way to start developing the diaphragm, the largest muscle in the body, is to lie on the floor and pile books on your diaphragm.  Close your mouth and breathe deeply through your nose.  Watch carefully as the books rise and fall.  Continue until you feel the diaphragm pulling and strengthening.  When you are outside walking, keep your mouth closed as you inhale nasally on a count of – one, two, three then exhale on a count of one, two, and three. Remember when you are presenting information to others if you are nervous or tense breathe! Now doesn’t this help you breathe more easily?

Carolyn Finch                                                                  carolyn@carolynfinch.com 

Communication LifeStyle Expert™ Speaker                               WWW.carolynfinch.com

Conventions-Conferences-Corporate and Community functions           203 725 3133

                     Isn't it time to change your communication so you can change your life?

Experience The Times of Your Life

The other day I was watching a Ted Talk on Netflix. Andy Puddicombe’s, “All It Takes is 10 Mindful Minutes” speech was short, only 9 minutes in length, but highly effective. What Andy was saying is something we all know deep down we should be doing, but never seem to find the time to do it. Anyone can be mindful. You don’t have to shave your head, wear a robe, sit crossed-legged, and chant alone in an empty secluded room to be present. You can be yourself at anytime during the day and practice simple moments of mindfulness anywhere. Most of us have experienced some mindful moments every week, but not for 10 consecutive minutes.

What would happen if we did this everyday for 10 minutes?

Our minds would get a mini break from worry, stress, and stressing about worry. As a result, the mind would become clearer, allowing it to function at a high level more often. If this is the solution, sign me up. Being present and seeing your thoughts without judgment is how you practice mindfulness. I’ll give you an example in the paragraph below.

Let’s use eating as an example. This is something we all do on a daily basis. When eating your food, do so without watching TV, having a conversation on your smart phone, texting, reading an email, surfing the Internet, walking around your house, or reading a book. When you begin to eat your food without indulging in other activities that distract the moment, you’ll experience your five senses, all while eating your food.


Start by looking at the colors, texture and size of what you’ll be eating. Then watch your fork, as it penetrates the food. Now take in the smells to awaken your senses, as the food is about to enter your mouth. Be aware of your fork as the food touches your mouth. As you do this, you’ll begin to experience the ingredient explosion of taste alive in your mouth. Take it all in. Don’t think about that project that is due tomorrow, or the grocery shopping you’ll be doing after work. Just be present in this moment and witness all the wonderful sensations that are happening just by eating a bite of food. Do this for 10 minutes and your mindfulness exercise is done for the day.

Coming off the heels of the “Mad Men” series finale this past Sunday on AMC, the main character, Don Draper, figures out life's little secret through meditation. For much of the series, Don stumbles through the last two decades, living a life of addiction, stress and worry. Don eventually figures it all out in a moment of blissful awareness. Through meditation, he finds beauty and everything “clicks” in the final moments of this last episode. Don’s mind becomes expansive through a simple mindful act of meditation. It is filled with clarity, as he realizes what needs to happen next.

Take 10 minutes today and experience the times of your life.

As a Professional Organizer, Speaker, Author, TV Personality, and Podcast Producer & Host, Rick Woods helps residents and businesses make room for clarity, by getting rid of the clutter that gets in their way.


Rick’s newly released book “Make Room for Clarity” is a step by step guide to getting rid of the clutter that gets in your way. Available on Amazon. Listen to Rick's free iTunes podcast "Make Room For Clarity", which focuses on interviewing business & health experts by visiting www.makeroomforclarity.com.


Inquire about Rick's professional organizing business, "The Functional Organizer, LLC.", which focuses on decluttering, organizing, paper filing and time management by visiting www.tforganizer.com.