Calm First, Perform Better: How to Buy Yourself Time Without Losing Credibility

By Mary-Anne Schelb
Bringing Calm to the Chaos

There is a certain pressure that happens when someone asks for an answer before you feel ready to give one.

It might happen in a meeting.  A client asks a question you were not expecting. A supervisor wants your opinion on a decision. A coworker turns to you for input. Someone sends an email with the words, “Can you let me know today?” Or you are on a call and suddenly feel the full attention of the conversation shift toward you.

In that moment, many professionals feel an immediate internal push to respond quickly.

Say something.
Have the answer.
Do not look uncertain.
Do not disappoint anyone.
Do not make it awkward.

So we answer before we have had enough time to think.

Sometimes the answer is fine.
But sometimes, the faster response is not the better one.

Sometimes we agree too quickly. Sometimes we over-explain. Sometimes we commit to a timeline we cannot realistically meet. Sometimes we give an answer that feels confident in the moment, but later realize we needed more information, more time, or more clarity.

That is where a professional pause becomes powerful.

Fast Is Not Always Strong

In many work environments, speed is often mistaken for competence.  The quickest response can seem like the strongest response.  The immediate yes can seem like the most helpful answer.  The person who speaks first can appear prepared.  But true professionalism is not only about speed.

It is also about discernment.

Can you recognize when a question needs more thought?
Can you notice when pressure is influencing your response?
Can you give yourself enough room to answer with accuracy, clarity, and intention?

There is nothing weak about needing a moment.

In fact, knowing when to pause can strengthen your credibility because it shows that you are not just reacting to pressure. You are thinking about the quality of the response.

The Pressure to Answer Immediately

Many of us have been conditioned to believe that hesitation looks unprepared.

So we fill the space.
We speak before we are grounded.
We respond to the emotion of the moment instead of the actual request.
We say yes because saying yes feels easier than creating a pause.

But a thoughtful pause does not make you look unsure when it is communicated well.  It can make you look measured, professional, and responsible.  There is a difference between avoiding an answer and creating space for a better one.

Avoidance is vague.
A professional pause is clear.

Avoidance leaves people wondering.
A professional pause tells people what to expect next.

Avoidance delays without direction.
A professional pause protects the quality of the decision, the communication, and the follow-through.

Calm Helps You Choose Your Response

When we feel put on the spot, the body often responds before the mind has fully assessed the situation.

The heart may speed up.
The breath may shorten.
The mind may race.

We may feel the urge to rescue the moment by answering immediately, even if we are not ready.

This is exactly when calm matters.

Calm gives you enough internal space to ask:

Do I actually have enough information to answer this?
Am I responding from clarity or pressure?
What would be the most professional next step?

Those questions can prevent a rushed yes, an unclear answer, or a commitment that creates more stress later.

The goal is not to delay everything.
The goal is to respond with intention.

The Professional Pause

Here is a simple tool you can use when you need time to think but still want to maintain credibility.

It has three parts:

Acknowledge. Create space. Commit to the next step.

First, acknowledge.

Let the other person know you heard them and that the issue matters.

You might say:

“I understand this is important.”

Or:

“That is a good question.”

Or:

“I can see why we need to clarify this.”

Acknowledgment lowers tension because it communicates that you are not dismissing the request.

Second, create space.

This is where you give yourself permission to think.

You might say:

“I want to give you a thoughtful answer.”

Or:

“I would like to review the details before I respond.”

Or:

“I do not want to rush this and miss something important.”

This part is key. You are not simply saying, “I don’t know.”  You are showing that the answer deserves attention.

Third, commit to the next step.

This is what makes the pause professional instead of vague.

You might say:

“Let me review this and get back to you by tomorrow morning.”

Or:

“I can look at the numbers and follow up by the end of the day.”

Or:

“Let me confirm the details first, and I will send you a response this afternoon.”

Now the other person knows what will happen next.  You have created space without losing momentum.

Simple Phrases That Protect Your Credibility

Sometimes it helps to have language ready before you need it.

Here are a few professional pause phrases you can use in meetings, calls, emails, or conversations:

• “I want to answer that thoughtfully. Let me take a closer look and get back to you.”
• “Before I give you a firm answer, I want to make sure I have the right information.”
• “That deserves a clear response. Let me review it and follow up by tomorrow.”
• “I can give you an initial thought now, but I would like to confirm the details before making a final decision.”
• “I do not want to rush the answer. Let me come back to you with something more complete.”

These phrases are calm.
They are professional.
They are clear.

And they allow you to stay in integrity with your response instead of being pushed into an answer before you are ready.

A Pause Can Be a Leadership Skill

The ability to pause is not just useful in one conversation.

It is a leadership skill.
It helps prevent unnecessary mistakes.
It protects relationships.
It supports clearer decisions.
It teaches others that thoughtful communication has value.

And it gives you a way to stay grounded even when the pace around you is moving quickly.  In a world that often rewards immediate reaction, the person who can pause with confidence brings something important into the room.

Steadiness.

That steadiness can change the energy of a conversation.  It can also change the quality of the outcome.

Calm First. Then Answer Better.

You do not have to answer every question the moment it is asked.
You do not have to fill every silence.
You do not have to prove your competence by rushing your response.

Sometimes the most professional thing you can say is:

“I want to give this the attention it deserves.”

That sentence creates space.
It protects clarity.
It honors the importance of the conversation.
And it allows you to respond from calm rather than pressure.

Calm first.

Then pause with confidence.

Then perform better.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner, and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions. She is also the author of the book, Calming the Chaos: The Intentional Calm Method™.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at IntentionalCalm.com.

Calm First, Perform Better: Navigating Difficult Conversations Without Losing Your Center

By Mary-Anne Schelb
Bringing Calm to the Chaos

Difficult conversations rarely begin with the words, “This is going to be difficult.”

Sometimes they begin with an email that feels sharper than expected. A question in a meeting that catches you off guard. A client who is frustrated. A coworker who misunderstood your intention. A supervisor asking for clarification when you already feel stretched.

And sometimes, they begin with a phone call.

You see the name come across the screen, or you pick up expecting a simple conversation, and within moments, the tone changes. Someone is upset. Someone needs an answer. Someone is questioning a decision, pushing for a response, or bringing tension into a conversation you were not prepared to have.

In an instant, your body reacts before your mind has had a chance to catch up.

Your shoulders tighten.
Your breathing changes.
Your thoughts start moving quickly.

What did they mean by that?
Why are they saying it that way?
Do they think I did something wrong?
How do I defend myself without making this worse?

In moments like this, many professionals do one of two things.

They either react too quickly, or they shut down.

Neither usually leads to the conversation they actually want to have.

The Moment Before the Response Matters

One of the most powerful parts of a difficult conversation is the moment before you respond.

It is also one of the easiest moments to miss.

When we feel challenged, misunderstood, criticized, questioned, or pressured, our natural instinct is often to protect ourselves. We may explain too much, interrupt, become defensive, or start preparing our response before the other person has even finished speaking.

That is not because we are unprofessional.

It is because we are human.

But in a professional setting, the ability to pause before responding can change the entire direction of a conversation.

A pause gives you just enough room to come back to center.

It helps you listen for what is actually being said instead of only reacting to how it feels.

It allows you to respond from intention rather than emotion.

Calm Does Not Mean You Agree

Sometimes people hear the word calm and think it means being passive, agreeable, or silent.

That is not what I mean.

Calm does not mean you let people speak to you disrespectfully.  It does not mean you avoid hard conversations.  It does not mean you say yes when you need to say no.

Calm means you stay connected to yourself while you are inside the conversation.

You can be calm and clear.
You can be calm and direct.
You can be calm and firm.
You can be calm and still disagree.

In fact, calm often helps us communicate more effectively because we are no longer trying to manage the entire conversation from a place of internal chaos.

The Pause, Clarify, Respond Tool

Before you answer in a difficult conversation, try this simple three-step tool:

Pause. Clarify. Respond.

First, pause.

Take one slow breath before you speak. If you are in person, let your feet feel the floor. If you are on Zoom, sit back slightly in your chair. If you are responding to an email, take your hands off the keyboard for a moment.

And if you are on the phone, give yourself permission to pause there too.  

You do not have to fill every second of silence.
You can take a breath before answering.
You can say, “Let me think about that for a moment.”

That small pause is not a delay.

It is a reset.

Second, clarify.

Before defending, explaining, or correcting, make sure you understand what is actually being said.

You might use a phrase like:

“Let me make sure I’m understanding this clearly.”

Or:

“What I’m hearing is…”

Or:

“Can you clarify what you need from me right now?”

Clarifying slows the conversation down and often reduces unnecessary tension.

Many difficult conversations become harder simply because both people are reacting to assumptions instead of responding to facts.

Third, respond.

Once you have paused and clarified, then choose your response.

Not the reaction that wants to jump out first.
Not the over-explanation that comes from feeling uncomfortable.
Not the defensive answer that tries to protect your pride.

Choose the response that supports the outcome you actually want.

That might sound like:

“I can understand why that would be frustrating.”
“Here is what I can do next.”
“I see this differently, and I’d like to explain why.”
“I want to respond thoughtfully, so I’d like to take a little time and come back to you.”

That is professional strength.

Not avoidance.  Not aggression.

Strength.

Staying Centered Changes the Conversation

When we stay centered, we give ourselves a better chance to hear clearly, speak clearly, and move the conversation forward.

We may not control how the other person responds.
We may not resolve everything in one conversation.
We may not leave with everyone agreeing.

But we can leave knowing we showed up with steadiness, professionalism, and intention.

And that matters.

Because difficult conversations are not just about what is said.

They are about how we show up while saying it.

Calm First. Then Communicate Better.

Professional success often depends on our ability to communicate under pressure.

Not just when the conversation is easy.
Not just when everyone agrees.
Not just when we feel prepared.

But when the moment is tense, unexpected, emotional, or uncomfortable.

That is where calm becomes a tool.

Before you respond, pause.
Before you assume, clarify.
Before you react, choose.

Because when you calm the chaos inside, you create more room for clarity, respect, and better communication.

Calm first.

Then communicate better.

Then perform better.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner, and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions. She is also the author of the book, Calming the Chaos: The Intentional Calm Method™.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at IntentionalCalm.com 

Calm First, Perform Better: How to Reset Before High-Pressure Moments

By Mary-Anne Schelb
Bringing Calm to the Chaos

Some moments do not give us much warning.

You may be walking into a meeting where you know the conversation could be difficult. You may be getting ready to speak in front of a room, join an important Zoom call, present an idea, respond to a client, or answer a question you were not expecting.

On the outside, you may look prepared.

But on the inside, your mind is moving quickly.

Did I bring the right notes?
What if they disagree?
What if I forget what I wanted to say?
What if this does not go well?
What if I am already behind before I even begin?

And often, these high-pressure moments do not happen in a calm, perfectly organized day. They happen after traffic. After a difficult phone call. After an email that needed immediate attention. After something at home pulled your focus before the workday even started.

By the time you walk into the room, your body may already be carrying more than the moment in front of you.

That matters.

Because how we enter a high-pressure moment often affects how we perform in it.

Pressure Changes the Way We Show Up

When we are under stress, our body is trying to protect us.

The heart may beat faster. Breathing may become shallow. The shoulders may tighten. The mind may jump ahead to every possible outcome. We may speak too quickly, listen less fully, or react from urgency instead of responding with clarity.

That does not mean we are unprofessional.

It means we are human.

But if we do not recognize what is happening internally, we may bring that scattered energy directly into the conversation, meeting, presentation, or decision.

We may rush an answer that needed a pause.

We may become defensive when we meant to stay open.

We may over-explain when a simple response would have been stronger.

We may try to perform from a state of chaos and then wonder why we did not feel grounded, clear, or effective.

This is why learning to reset before a high-pressure moment is not just a wellness practice.

It is a performance strategy.

Calm Does Not Remove the Pressure

Calm does not mean the meeting is suddenly easy.

It does not mean the client will agree with you, the presentation will go perfectly, or the difficult conversation will magically resolve itself.

Calm means you enter the moment with more access to yourself.

You can think more clearly.
You can listen more carefully.
You can choose your words more intentionally.
You can respond to what is actually happening instead of reacting to what your stress is predicting.

In professional settings, that matters.

The most effective person in the room is not always the loudest, fastest, or most forceful.

Often, it is the person who can stay steady enough to think.

The 2-Minute Reset

Before your next high-pressure moment, give yourself two minutes.

Not twenty.

Not an entire morning routine.

Just two minutes to shift your state before you step into what is next.

First, place both feet on the floor.

Let your shoulders drop slightly.

Take a slow breath in through your nose, then exhale a little longer than you inhale. Do that again.

Now bring yourself into the present moment through your senses.

Notice five things you can see.
Maybe the edge of the table, the color of the wall, your notebook, the light in the room, or your own hands.

Notice four things you can feel.
Your feet in your shoes. The chair beneath you. The pen in your hand. The fabric of your clothing.

Notice three things you can hear.
The hum of the room. A voice in the hallway. Your own breath.

Notice two things you can smell.
Coffee. Paper. Fresh air. Hand lotion. Nothing obvious? That is okay. Just notice.

Notice one thing you can taste.
A sip of water. Coffee. Mint. Or simply the awareness of your mouth as you breathe.

Then ask yourself one grounding question:

How do I want to show up in this next moment?

Not, “How do I control everything?”

Not, “How do I make sure nothing goes wrong?”

Just:

How do I want to show up?

Clear.
Steady.
Professional.
Prepared.
Open.
Direct.
Calm.

Choose one word.

Let that word become your anchor.

A Small Pause Can Change the Room

The reset may seem simple, but simple does not mean insignificant.

A two-minute pause can change the tone of your voice.
It can slow your breathing.
It can soften the urgency in your body.
It can help you remember that you do not have to bring the chaos of the whole day into the next conversation.

You can arrive differently.

And when you arrive differently, you often lead differently.

You may still need to make the hard decision.
You may still need to deliver the presentation.
You may still need to have the uncomfortable conversation.
You may still need to perform under pressure.

But now you are not doing it from the middle of the storm.

You have given yourself a moment to come back to center.

Calm First. Then Perform Better.

High-pressure moments are part of professional life.

We cannot eliminate every deadline, difficult conversation, unexpected question, or demanding day.

But we can learn how to meet those moments with more steadiness.

Calm first does not mean we delay action.

It means we prepare our internal state so our action is clearer, wiser, and more effective.

Before the meeting.
Before the call.
Before the presentation.
Before the answer.
Before the reaction.

Pause.

Breathe.

Return to yourself.

Then step forward.

Because when you calm the chaos inside, you give yourself a better chance to perform with clarity, confidence, and intention.

Calm first.

Then perform better.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner, and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions. She is also the author of the forthcoming book, Calming the Chaos: The Intentional Calm Method™.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at IntentionalCalm.com

Calm First, Perform Better: Turning Workplace Overwhelm into Strategic Focus

By Mary-Anne Schelb
Bringing Calm to the Chaos

Some workdays begin before we ever reach our desk.

Maybe the morning started with traffic that refused to move, a text from home that needed an answer, a meeting reminder that popped up earlier than expected, and a mental list already running in the background before the first sip of coffee.

Then you open your inbox.

Twelve unread emails. Three marked urgent. A client is waiting for a response. A coworker needs clarification. A deadline has shifted. Someone stops by your office with “just a quick question,” and before you have had a chance to settle into the day, everything feels equally important.

That is often when workplace overwhelm begins.

Not because we are incapable.

Not because we are unorganized.

Not because we cannot handle responsibility.

But because our nervous system starts treating every request, every notification, every deadline, and every interruption as if they all require the same level of immediate attention.

When everything feels urgent, it becomes harder to know what actually matters most.

Overwhelm Makes Everything Look Equal

One of the challenges with overwhelm is that it flattens perspective.

A small task can feel as heavy as a major decision. An email can feel as loud as a crisis. A conversation that could wait until later may feel like it needs to be handled immediately.

When we are operating from stress, the brain often looks for relief instead of strategy. We may answer the easiest email first just to feel productive. We may jump from task to task without finishing anything. We may react to whoever is loudest or most immediate, even if that person or task is not connected to the most important outcome of the day.

This is why calm matters in professional settings.

Calm does not remove the workload.

Calm helps us see the workload differently.

It gives us enough internal steadiness to pause, assess, and choose the next right action instead of being pulled into every demand at once.

The Difference Between Busy and Focused

Many professionals are very busy.

Fewer feel truly focused.

Busy responds to everything.

Focused responds to what matters first.

Busy says, “I have to get all of this done right now.”

Focused asks, “What needs my attention first so I can move the day forward?”

That one question can shift the entire tone of the day.

Strategic focus does not mean ignoring responsibility. It means recognizing that not everything deserves the same energy at the same time.

When we calm first, we are better able to separate true priorities from noise. We can make better decisions, communicate more clearly, and use our energy with more intention.

The Calm Priority Reset

Here is a simple tool you can use when the day starts to feel scattered or overloaded.

First, pause before diving in.

Place both feet on the floor. Let your shoulders soften. Take one slow breath in and one longer breath out.

Then look around and name five things you can see. Notice four things you can feel. Listen for three things you can hear. Notice two things you can smell. Finally, notice one thing you can taste, or simply take one more slow breath and return to the present moment.

This quick sensory reset helps bring your attention out of the mental spiral and back into your body.

Now take out a piece of paper and write down everything pulling for your attention.

Do not organize it yet.

Just get it out of your head.

Once it is written down, ask yourself:

What is truly urgent?
What is important but not immediate?
What can wait?
What can be delegated, delayed, or simplified?
What one action would help me regain traction?

Then choose one next step.

Not ten.

One.

Send the email. Make the call. Prepare for the meeting. Clarify the decision. Complete the task that moves the day forward.

The goal is not to do everything at once.

The goal is to return to a state where you can think clearly enough to do the right thing next.

Calm Creates Better Performance

We often think performance is about pushing harder, moving faster, or doing more.

But sometimes better performance begins by doing less for a moment.

Less reacting.

Less spiraling.

Less jumping from one demand to the next.

When we give ourselves even a brief pause, we create room for better thinking. We stop letting the loudest thing become the most important thing. We begin choosing our actions instead of being carried away by urgency.

That is where calm becomes practical.

It is not separate from productivity.

It supports productivity.

It helps us lead better, communicate better, decide better, and perform better because we are no longer trying to create results from a state of internal chaos.

Work will always have deadlines, interruptions, pressure, and unexpected moments.

But we do not have to meet every moment from a scattered place.

We can pause.

We can reset.

We can choose one grounded next step.

Calm first.

Then focus.

Then perform better.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner, and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions. She is also the author of the forthcoming book, Calming the Chaos: The Intentional Calm Method™.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at Intentional Calm.

Calming the Chaos: Why Calm Has to Come Before Clarity

By Mary-Anne Schelb
Bringing Calm to the Chaos

In business, caregiving, leadership, family life, and everyday decision-making, most people are taught to push harder when life feels overwhelming.

Make the list.
Solve the problem.
Answer the email.
Handle the crisis.
Keep moving.

And sometimes, of course, action is necessary.

But what I have learned through years of holistic wellness, lifestyle coaching, energy work, and supporting people through stressful seasons is this:

Clarity rarely comes from chaos.

When we are overwhelmed, rushed, emotionally flooded, or mentally overloaded, even simple decisions can feel heavy. We may second-guess ourselves, react too quickly, avoid what needs to be handled, or say yes when every part of us is asking for a pause.

That is not weakness.

That is often a sign that our nervous system is working overtime.

Calm Is Not Doing Nothing

One of the biggest misconceptions about calm is that it means we are passive, detached, or avoiding reality.

I see it differently.

Calm is not ignoring the problem.
Calm is creating enough internal steadiness to meet the problem more clearly.

When we pause long enough to breathe, ground ourselves, and regulate our response, we give ourselves access to better thinking. We become less reactive and more intentional. We can listen more fully, communicate more clearly, and choose our next step instead of simply being pulled into the urgency of the moment.

That matters in business.
It matters in leadership.
It matters in caregiving.
It matters in relationships.

And it matters in the quiet moments when no one else sees how much we are carrying.

The Cost of Living in Constant Reaction

Many capable people are functioning in a near-constant state of reaction.

They are answering everyone else’s needs before checking in with their own. They are managing work, family, aging parents, health concerns, finances, schedules, and expectations — often while telling themselves they should be able to handle more.

Over time, that level of pressure becomes exhausting.

The mind gets noisy.
The body gets tense.
Patience gets thinner.
Decisions feel harder.
And joy becomes something we postpone until life finally slows down.

But life does not always slow down on its own.

Sometimes, we have to build small moments of calm directly into the life we already have.

A Simple Reset

Here is one tool I often recommend because it is simple, discreet, and realistic.

Before you respond, decide, send, speak, agree, or react — pause for two minutes.

Try this:

Place both feet on the floor.
Relax your shoulders.
Take one slow breath in.
Exhale a little longer than you inhale.
Notice one thing you can see.
Notice one thing you can feel.
Ask yourself: What is the next right step?

Not the perfect step.
Not the forever decision.
Just the next right step.

This small pause can interrupt the automatic stress response and help you return to yourself before moving forward.

It will not solve every problem.

But it can change the state you are in when you meet the problem.

And that can change everything.

Calm First. Then Move Forward.

We do not need to wait for life to be peaceful before we practice peace.

We do not need perfect circumstances to create a steadier response.

And we do not need to overhaul our entire life to begin feeling more grounded.

Sometimes the most powerful shift begins with a pause, a breath, and the decision to stop meeting every moment from a place of urgency.

That is the heart of calming the chaos.

Not pretending life is easy.
Not denying what is hard.
Not stepping away from responsibility.

But learning to come back to center before we move forward.

Because when we are calmer, we are clearer.

And when we are clearer, we are far more likely to choose the next step that actually supports the life, work, relationships, and well-being we are trying to build.

Calm is not a luxury.

It is a lifeline.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Lifestyle Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner, and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions. She is also the author of the forthcoming book, Calming the Chaos: The Intentional Calm Method™.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at Intentional Calm.

How to Avoid a Knife in the Back

Acquiring, building, and maintaining solid relationships with clients and customers is arguably the first priority of a sales professional’s job. After all, without those relationships, there is no job. So we go into the office and set our minds to the task of keeping those relationships in tip-top shape. We might hear a coworker who always seems so pleasant and agreeable say something that sounds a bit strange, but don’t think twice about it.
We witness little things with our other coworkers too—like a look, a roll of the eyes, a gesture behind someone’s back, or one coworker whispering to another coworker—but don’t think much about it until we find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a workplace drama we did not see coming.
Building relationships with coworkers is not like building a relationship with a client or customer. To varying degrees, we have a choice about who we want our sales clients to be. We rarely have a choice about our coworkers. And while it might not be fair to say that we should always be aware of what our coworkers are up to, it would be naive to believe that their actions in the workplace are designed to build anyone’s career other than their own.
If you don’t want to inadvertently get caught up in office drama—or worse, be the source of it—use some of the same strategies you’d use when you’re getting to know a client better. In the workplace, that means paying attention to the clues your coworkers are giving you.

For example:

Gossip - A coworker might ask you a question about yourself, or someone else in the office, that seems innocent enough to answer. BUT, what will they do with your answer? Will it come back to bite you on the #%&? Stick to the facts, and take care with the jokes or information you might be tempted to share about others.

Superficial Sincerity - People in the workplace can become very good at hiding their insecurities behind a facade of sincerity. It would be nice if all of our coworkers felt confident, comfortable and secure in their jobs. BUT they don’t. Don’t expect a coworker to jump on the sword perched in the middle of the room even if it does have their name on it.

Trust – This is one of the most important aspects of any relationship, BUT it’s hard to build trust in an environment of casual “work” relationships. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t trust the people you work with. It just means that if you witness a coworker doing or saying something behind someone else’s back, chances are extremely good they’ll do the same behind your back too.

None of this is a suggestion to look for trouble where there isn’t any. It’s just a reminder that the same ability you use to build relationships with your clients can be used to help you safely navigate through office politics with your coworkers. All either situation requires is your attention.

Alan Luoma: I am a Sales Coach with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, new

product development, sales and product training. I work part time with a great national sustainable packaging company and their exceptional distributors to increase sales. My success has been and is in utilizing the Pareto 80/20 principal in business and life. I have become an expert in seeking out and eliminating behaviors that prevent business people from being successful. I am a member of The National Speakers Association and New England Speakers Association. You can view my profile on LinkedIn, or contact me at Luoma@snet.net 

The Hallway of Choices



A passage way seems to be in view at the end of this hallway. The passage way is a metaphor representing your chief definite aim in life, your ultimate goal or that "one thing" in life that you must have before you die. At the end of this hallway the "one thing" you seek awaits for you to show up.
There are hundreds of doors leading up to that passage to your goal. The doors on the left represent sacrifices, disciplines, hard work, commitment, integrity, good habits, good environments, pursuit of education and faith based decisions. The doors on the right represent no true life structure, bad habits, poor effort, lack of education, addictive natures, terrible environments, lack of faith, poor attitude and continued bad decisions. The right side correlates to a failure mindset and zero results outcome.
Our life is the sum of our choices and disciplines over the last year, last five years and last 10 years.
How would you sum up your life accomplishments in 2014, have you improved or have you suffered setbacks?
As you gaze down the hallway in the picture above, what is that "one thing" you want to accomplish in 2015? To accomplish great things you may have to leave old environments behind and eliminate bad habits that may be holding you back. You need to make the right decisions not just once and a while but all the time. If you have been in and out of the doors on the right side it is time to cross the hallway and start entering the doors on the left side. Start right now with setting a plan for yourself. Copy and paste this picture on your computer or journal and write that "one thing" you will pursue in 2015. SET OUT TO ACCOMPLISH THIS "ONE THING" NO MATTER WHAT!
The following is my Pattern for Successful Change.
This is "Golden Nugget #3" .
1. Purchase a Good Journal: Document your life progress everyday. Commit to 15 minutes of journalizing everyday. It should become your biography of change.
2. Define that "One Thing": Write it in your Journal. What is it that your going to attempt in 2015? What will make you truly happy so that you will enjoy this ride through life?
3. Leave the right side of the hallway mentioned above: In the month of January make a commitment to eliminate the worst habit you have in life. "Do not make this a New Years resolution! Make it your personal commitment to you!" If you're successful in eliminating the first bad habit, attack the next bad habit you have in the month of February. If you haven't eliminated your first one in January stay with it. In fact, if you only eliminate one bad habit in 2015 you should consider yourself a success.
4. Adopt Three Positive Attributes to your Life: Write these attributes in the front of your Journal so you see them everyday when your are journalizing your progress.
5. Read a book a month in 2015: Complete a book once a month that will assist you in attaining that "One Thing" you are in pursuit of.

I look forward to hearing about your positive metamorphosis in 2015.

Sincerely,
John

John P. Slosek, Jr. 

30 years as a Sales Professional and Insurance Agency Owner. He is currently an Exclusive Agency Owner for Allstate in Chicopee, Massachusetts. (413-331-3900)johnslosekjr@allstate.com.

He is also the host of the "Insurance Coach Radio Show" which has been continuously running for 13 years. His efforts are directed to promote personal change. The show steers towards personal growth and common sense education for his listeners.His personal email:  Insurancecoach@aol.com.                                      
The show can be heard every Saturday morning at 8 am on WARE 1250 AM or
 www.realoldies1250.net. John is also a Certified Speaker in the area of Sales, Personal Growth, Marketing, Leadership Skills, and Entrepreneurship. He is available by direct contact (413) 246-5037(text). Just in case the speaker you hired cancels, he will make himself available for last minute cancellations for your company or event. John is also licensed to teach John Maxwell material and multi-level marketing concepts.


6

How Do We Find The Calm?

Finding your center and remaining calm in the midst of the commotion of everyday life is a challenge. If it weren’t, we’d all be happily and cheerfully 100% productive on a daily basis. Most of the time, the real problem is not a lack of ability on the part of the individual. Most of the time it’s because no one has ever shared stress and time management techniques with us that are designed to help us keep our feet on the ground, and create enough time to take a deep relaxing breath before moving on to what needs to be done next. 

I help parents and caregivers find that calm place—and space, and then help them build an inventory of stress and time management skills they can rely on to recreate their own sense of calm when needed. It begins with identifying parenting, family, and self care goals. From there, we work together to design a plan for carving out the time needed to incorporate these goals into your daily life. 

As your life progresses, the demands on your nerves and time will change. And the reality is that even the most well organized and structured parent or caregiver is likely to experience stress at some point in their lives. During those times, I can be there to help you adapt old skills to better address new demands. As an accountability partner, I’m also there to help and support you through the stressful situations that are inevitably a part of everyone’s  journey.

Virginia Ann Griffiths

We Leap Coaching

Parent Time & Stress 

Management Strategist

(860) 806-2848

we-leap.com

Helping You Find The Calm......