What One Man Lost at Sea Can Teach Us About Mental Toughness on Land and in Life.    By John P. Slosek, Jr. — The Insurance Coach™   

This is one side of this story. To those of us that are striving to achieve great things in life, we know at some point, there's going to come a time when our mental toughness is going to come into play for us to hang in there through a bad day, through a bad week, bad month, or maybe a bad year or longer. And we've just got to keep going. I can recall starting my insurance business from scratch back in 1984. I had three customers, my mother, my father, and my brother. The business wasn’t generating any revenue so I took on a job at night, third shift, so I could afford keeping things running. I was working for at least five years on an average of four to five hours sleep a night and working the business during the day with the help of my wife outside of her full-time employment hours. I signed a lease on an office for 3 years with a small customer base. My wife almost bit through her lower lip when she found out I had done this. 

She backed me and the dream I had of building the agency 100%. We set a plan that her paycheck would cover the office expenses and mine would cover household expenses. This went on for five plus years. The women that worked with her advised her to drop (ME) the bum like a hot potato. I even think loser was thrown in a few times. Did my wife and I have to dig deep for mental toughness? Many, many times. We always maintained a positive mental attitude together, and we could visualize the future where we could work together in our office together. Six years later, My wife retired from W-2 wage employment for good. The women that hounded my wife constantly to drop the loser, the bum…(Me). She ended up staying in those small office cubicles for another 25 to 30 years. Our path in those 6 years was not easy. But you know what? Time is going to pass anyway. You can choose the hamster wheel of life or chose to strive for something enormous. To live the imagined life you dream about, you have in your future waiting to appear.

Here is the other side of the story. It’s about a fisherman named José Salvador Alvarenga who left the coast of Mexico in a small fishing boat expecting nothing more than an ordinary day of hard work providing for his family. It was November 17, 2012, and his partner headed out into the Pacific Ocean. A violent storm struck the Pacific Ocean. Because of the storm intensity it caused the engine to fail. He lost all communication when his equipment stopped working. Before long, he and his young fishing partner were drifting helplessly into one of the largest and most unforgiving bodies of water on Earth.

Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into months........and months.

Eventually, his partner died from starvation and hopelessness, leaving Alvarenga completely alone on the open ocean. Imagine the silence. No phones. No rescue ships. No certainty. Just endless water in every direction and the terrifying realization that survival depended entirely upon his ability to keep going mentally long before he could survive physically. There are accounts of Jose propping is dead fishing partner up so Jose could with him to avoid the loneliness, fear and isolation. This lasted for about a week before Jose gave him to the Ocean.

For the next 438 days, José Salvador Alvarenga drifted across the Pacific Ocean. He survived by catching fish with his bare hands. He ate raw birds, jellyfish, and sea turtles. He drank rainwater when storms came, and during desperate stretches, he resorted to drinking turtle blood and even his own urine. He hid inside an ice chest to escape the brutal heat of the day and wrapped himself against the cold at night.

But perhaps his greatest battle wasn't against hunger, thirst, or the elements.

It was against hopelessness. He later said that loneliness was his greatest enemy. There were days when he questioned whether anyone would ever find him. Yet, somehow through prayer, memories of his family, conversations with himself, and a refusal to surrender, he kept going one day at a time. And isn't that what mental toughness is? It's not pretending things aren't difficult. It's not never feeling fear. It's not always knowing how things are going to work out.

Mental toughness is waking up and deciding to keep going when you can't see the shoreline.

This picture is José Salvador Alvarenga rescued after 438 days adrift in the Pacific Ocean.

Sometimes success and survival doesn't belong to the smartest person. Sometimes it doesn't belong to the strongest. Sometimes it belongs to the person who simply refuses to quit. José Salvador Alvarenga eventually found land after 438 unimaginable days adrift. My wife and I eventually found ours after six difficult years. And if you keep your faith, maintain your attitude, and refuse to surrender to hopelessness, someday you'll look back and realize that your storm wasn't sent to destroy you. It was sent to reveal just how strong you really were. And never underestimate what can happen when hope refuses to surrender.

One day, when you finally reach your own shoreline, you'll discover that the person who stepped onto dry land is far stronger than the one who first set sail. And that, my friends, is the power of mental toughness on land—and in life.  

     And never underestimate what can happen when hope refuses to surrender.

One day, when you finally reach your own shoreline, you'll discover that the person who stepped onto dry land is far stronger than the one who first set sail.          

                                                        About the Author                                                                 

 John P. Slosek Jr. is the founder of Slosek Insurance Corporation, established in 1984 and still serving clients today. For more than 40 years, John has worked in the insurance industry helping individuals, families, and business owners better understand protection, risk, and financial responsibility. In addition to operating his and his wife’s insurance agency, John has spent over 30 years as a motivational and self-improvement speaker, focusing on common-sense life lessons, personal growth, and real-world decision-making. 

John is also the host of The Insurance Coach® radio show, heard every Saturday morning at 8:00 a.m. on Classic Hits 97.7. www.classichits977.com (Hit Listen Live). The program combines insurance education, life experiences, motivational insight, and practical advice designed to help listeners make better decisions for themselves and their families. John proudly resides in Massachusetts with his family and enjoys spending time with his children and grandchildren.

 

Travel in Time with Dan: Interview from the Past with CT Governor Jonathan Trumbull

The Heartbeat of the Revolution: A Sit-Down with Governor Jonathan Trumbull

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Historical Guest:

Governor Jonathan Trumbull
The only Colonial Governor to side with George Washington...and a leader who transformed Lebanon Green into a launchpad for liberty.

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✍️ Blog Post Interview

Intro by Dan:
Welcome back to another powerful stop on our Travel in Time journey. Today, I stood on the windswept Lebanon Green, Connecticut’s own “Heartbeat of the Revolution.” I closed my eyes and imagined the clatter of horses, the murmurs of military strategy, and the weight of decisions that would shape a nation. Then, through the magic of history and imagination, I sat down with none other than Governor Jonathan Trumbull. The man whose sense of purpose helped shift the tides of revolution.

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The Interview

Dan: Governor Trumbull, thank you for joining me. You’re remembered as the only Colonial Governor to support the Patriot cause. What made you take such a bold... and dangerous... stand?

Governor Trumbull:
Young man, I did not see it as bold. I saw it as right. The Crown’s hand had grown heavy. The people of Connecticut... good people... were straining under unfair taxes and the muzzle of tyranny. When others hesitated, I remembered our covenant with liberty. My conscience left me no choice but to stand with General Washington… even if it meant standing alone.

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Dan: You turned this very green into a nerve center of the Revolution. What was Lebanon Green like back then?

Governor Trumbull:
Alive, sir. It pulsed with purpose. The War Office was always buzzing... dispatches arriving, horses being fed, French officers drawing maps with American hands. General Washington himself stood here. Supplies left this green and reached Valley Forge. Plans whispered under candlelight became bold moves on battlefields. This wasn’t just a pretty pasture… it was the spine of our resistance.

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Dan: What leadership lesson do you hope modern people take from this place?

Governor Trumbull:
Purpose moves people. That’s what I’ve always said. Not titles. Not wealth. Purpose. When a man... or a nation... knows its “why,” it can weather any storm. I knew our cause was just. That conviction lit the path forward, even when the night was dark and the outcome uncertain.

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Dan: Today’s youth face their own battles. Some say they don’t see leaders worth following. What would you say to them?

Governor Trumbull:
Then be the leader worth following. Waiting for perfect conditions or popular approval is a recipe for regret. Gather your facts, root your decisions in principle, and take action. Remember... the mightiest empire in the world thought we couldn’t win. But preparation… faith… and unity carried us through.

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Dan: Was there ever a moment you doubted?

Governor Trumbull:
Many. Especially when friends... governors, merchants, even clergy... chose comfort over courage. But I also remembered Benjamin Franklin’s son, who stayed loyal to the Crown. That wound never healed between them. I resolved that I would not be a man my children would look upon with shame. I chose conviction over convenience.

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Dan: Some people might say Lebanon Green is just grass and old buildings now. Why should we still care?

Governor Trumbull:
Because these stones still speak. These fields remember. The choices made here gave birth to a nation. If we forget that, we risk losing the very freedoms they secured. Visit the green, son. Stand in silence. Listen long enough, and you’ll hear the echo of resolve.

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✨ Final Reflection (by Dan):

As I stepped away from Lebanon Green, the wind tugged gently at my coat. I could almost hear the sound of drums, the scuffle of boots, and the rustle of handwritten plans carried by candlelight. Governor Trumbull reminded me that leadership isn’t always about being loud or liked—it’s about being ready. About doing the work before the moment calls your name.

So next time you visit this quiet New England town, know this: you’re not just walking through grass. You’re walking through purpose.

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Historical Bio: Governor Jonathan Trumbull

• Born: October 12, 1710 – Lebanon, CT

• Died: August 17, 1785 – Lebanon, CT

• Role: Governor of Connecticut Colony (1769–1776), then State of Connecticut (1776–1784)

• Distinction: The only colonial governor to support the American Revolution

• Legacy: Close advisor to George Washington; turned Lebanon Green into the epicenter of supply, strategy, and spirit

Learn more about Dan: https://granddaddyssecrets.com/

Why Great Leaders Use More Encouragement and Less Praise

Most of us grew up with a very traditional model of motivation. A child brings home a drawing from school and proudly shows it to a parent. The parent immediately responds:

"That's beautiful!"

"You're such a great artist!"

"That's the best drawing I've ever seen!"

The child feels good in the moment, but there is a hidden problem. The child never gets the opportunity to evaluate the drawing for themselves. Instead of learning to assess their own effort, improvement, and satisfaction, they begin looking to others for validation.

Over time, motivation shifts from internal to external. The child starts doing things to earn praise rather than because they find personal value in the accomplishment itself. What many leaders don't realize is that this same dynamic often appears in the workplace.

Check out Bill Corbett's book, The 2.0 Entrepreneur. The kindle version is FREE for limited time.

The Praise Trap in Business

Traditional management often sounds like this:

"Great job!"

"You're my best employee."

"Excellent work."

While these comments are well-intentioned, they can unintentionally create a workforce that becomes dependent on approval rather than ownership. Employees begin looking to management for validation instead of developing confidence in their own judgment and abilities.

As leaders, our goal should not be to create employees who need us to constantly tell them they are doing well. Our goal should be to help employees become confident, independent problem-solvers.

Encouragement Builds Ownership

Years ago, while managing employees in corporate America, I discovered something interesting. When employees brought me problems, they often expected me to provide answers.  It would have been easy to simply tell them what to do. Instead, I often responded with questions:

"What could you have done differently?"

"How would you solve this if you were the manager?"

"What options do you see?"

"What do you think is the best next step?"

Notice that these responses are not criticism.

They are not praise either.

They are encouragement.

Encouragement communicates:

"I believe you're capable of figuring this out."

That message is far more powerful than simply handing someone the answer. When employees discover solutions for themselves, they develop confidence, judgment, and professional self-reliance.

Let Employees Tell Their Own Success Stories

When a team member solved a difficult problem, I tried not to become the hero of the story. Instead, during staff meetings, I would invite them to explain what they did. I wanted the team to hear directly from the person who solved the problem. Rather than saying:

"Sarah did an excellent job fixing this issue."

I might ask:

"Sarah, can you walk us through how you approached this challenge?"

Now Sarah receives recognition, but she also gets something more valuable:

Ownership.

The accomplishment belongs to her.

The confidence belongs to her.

The learning belongs to her.

And the rest of the team learns from her experience.

Helping Employees See Their Own Strengths

One of my favorite exercises occurred about once each quarter. If the team was small, I would go around the conference table and invite each person to identify something valuable another team member brought to the group. For larger teams, I would hand out slips of paper and ask employees to write down strengths they observed in each of their coworkers. The results were often remarkable.

Employees frequently discovered that others valued qualities they didn't recognize in themselves.

Leadership.

Reliability.

Creativity.

Patience.

Problem-solving.

Calmness under pressure.

Many people spend years overlooking their greatest strengths until someone helps them see them.

Encouragement Creates Self-Motivation

Praise says:

"You're good because I think you're good."

Encouragement says:

"I see effort. I see growth. I see capability."

Praise often creates dependence.

Encouragement creates confidence.

Praise focuses on the leader's evaluation.

Encouragement helps people evaluate themselves.

The most effective leaders understand that their job is not to create followers. Their job is to create capable people who can think, solve problems, and succeed without constant supervision.

Whether you're raising children or leading employees, the principle remains remarkably similar. People grow the most when they are trusted, encouraged, and empowered to discover their own abilities.

The best leaders don't simply provide answers. They help people discover that they already possess many of them.

Do You Remember the Moment You Decided to Become a Speaker?

Every speaker has a story. Not the story they tell on stage. The story that explains how they ended up on stage in the first place. For me, it happened in a corporate conference room many years ago.

At the time, I was a young professional working for a large company. One afternoon, management gathered everyone into a large auditorium-style meeting room to hear a guest speaker discuss organizational change.

I don't remember much about the introduction. I do remember what happened next. As the audience applauded, a short, bald-headed man in a suit confidently walked across the stage carrying a plastic milk crate.

A milk crate.

It seemed completely out of place. When he reached the lectern, he casually dropped the crate on the floor, stepped onto it, and suddenly stood tall enough to see comfortably over the podium. 

The room erupted in laughter.

Within seconds, he had accomplished what every speaker hopes to accomplish. He had everyone's
attention. That speaker was Alan Parisse, although I didn't know at the time that our paths would cross again years later when I would eventually interview him for my television program on professional speaking.

What I didn't realize that afternoon was that I wasn't just listening to a presentation. I was witnessing the beginning of a career. Something shifted inside me during those ninety minutes.

While everyone else was listening to the message about change, I found myself fascinated by the mechanics of the presentation itself.

How did he create laughter?

How did he command attention?

How did he make 150 people feel like he was speaking directly to them?

I watched his gestures.

I listened to the rise and fall of his voice.

I noticed how he moved across the stage.

I paid attention to how he connected with the audience.

One moment particularly stood out. To reinforce a point, he pulled out a copy of the local newspaper and referenced an article that directly affected many of us in the room. That may not sound remarkable until you realize he had flown in from Utah only hours before taking the stage.

It was a small detail, but it taught me a lesson that I still use today:

Great speakers make every audience feel like the presentation was created specifically for them.

When the program ended, most of my coworkers headed back to their cubicles. I headed toward the stage. I waited patiently until I had a chance to thank him for the presentation. Then I shared something that felt almost ridiculous to say out loud.

I told him I wanted to do what he did. I wanted to become a professional speaker. I asked if he could give me one piece of advice. Just one. His answer was simple.

"Find mentors."

He encouraged me to seek out speakers who were already doing what I hoped to do. Attend their programs. Learn from them. Ask questions. Study their craft. Buy them a cup of coffee if they'll give you a few minutes of their time.

That advice changed my life. In the years that followed, I attended presentations whenever I could.

I studied speakers.

I watched pastors deliver sermons.

I observed trainers, coaches, and presenters.

I became a student of communication.

Looking back now, I realize something important. The presentation itself inspired me. But the conversation afterward launched me. Today, after decades of speaking, training, writing, and working with audiences, I still remember that afternoon.

And it makes me curious.

Can you remember the moment that put you on the path you're on today?

If you're a speaker, trainer, coach, consultant, teacher, or leader, was there a person who inspired you? Was there a presentation that changed the way you thought about your future? 

I'd love to hear your story.

Because every speaker has one.

And every journey starts somewhere.

Why Great Meetings Respect the Agenda

Every professional has the same resource: time. If you're in the Hartford/Springfield area of New England and you want your time respected, come to the next meeting of the Hartford Springfield Opportunity Network in Windsor Locks, CT.

Some people have more money than others. Some have larger networks than others. Some have more experience than others. But every one of us gets the same 24 hours each day.

That's why one of the quickest ways to earn trust in a meeting is to start on time, end on time, and honor the agenda you promised.

Unfortunately, many networking meetings drift. A speaker goes long. Announcements multiply. Conversations wander. What was supposed to be a one-hour meeting becomes ninety minutes. Attendees begin looking at their watches and wondering what else they could be doing.

When that happens, the organizer may not realize it, but they're sending a message:

"My agenda is more important than yours."

Great meeting leaders send a different message.

They understand that professionals often arrange their entire day around a scheduled event. They may have clients to see, employees to manage, phone calls to return, and families waiting at home. Respecting the agenda demonstrates respect for the people in the room.

There's another benefit as well.

Structure creates confidence.

When attendees know a meeting will start on time, stay focused, and finish as promised, they are far more likely to return. They can relax, engage, and participate because they trust the process.

One of the highest compliments a networking group can receive is not that the coffee was good or the room was nice. It's hearing someone say:

"I know that when I attend, my time will be well spent."

That's not an accident.

It's the result of thoughtful planning, disciplined facilitation, and a commitment to serving the people who chose to be there.

As organizers, we don't just fill rooms.

We create experiences.

And one of the simplest ways to create a better experience is to respect the clock.

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What do you think? Have you ever attended a meeting that consistently started on time, stayed on track, and delivered value? We'd love to hear what made it memorable.

Calming the Chaos: Why Calm Has to Come Before Clarity

In business, caregiving, leadership, family life, and everyday decision-making, most people are taught to push harder when life feels overwhelming.

Make the list.
Solve the problem.
Answer the email.
Handle the crisis.
Keep moving.

And sometimes, of course, action is necessary.

But what I have learned through years of holistic wellness, lifestyle coaching, energy work, and supporting people through stressful seasons is this:

Clarity rarely comes from chaos.

When we are overwhelmed, rushed, emotionally flooded, or mentally overloaded, even simple decisions can feel heavy. We may second-guess ourselves, react too quickly, avoid what needs to be handled, or say yes when every part of us is asking for a pause.

That is not weakness.

That is often a sign that our nervous system is working overtime.

Calm Is Not Doing Nothing

One of the biggest misconceptions about calm is that it means we are passive, detached, or avoiding reality.

I see it differently.

Calm is not ignoring the problem.
Calm is creating enough internal steadiness to meet the problem more clearly.

When we pause long enough to breathe, ground ourselves, and regulate our response, we give ourselves access to better thinking. We become less reactive and more intentional. We can listen more fully, communicate more clearly, and choose our next step instead of simply being pulled into the urgency of the moment.

That matters in business.
It matters in leadership.
It matters in caregiving.
It matters in relationships.

And it matters in the quiet moments when no one else sees how much we are carrying.

The Cost of Living in Constant Reaction

Many capable people are functioning in a near-constant state of reaction.

They are answering everyone else’s needs before checking in with their own. They are managing work, family, aging parents, health concerns, finances, schedules, and expectations — often while telling themselves they should be able to handle more.

Over time, that level of pressure becomes exhausting.

The mind gets noisy.
The body gets tense.
Patience gets thinner.
Decisions feel harder.
And joy becomes something we postpone until life finally slows down.

But life does not always slow down on its own.

Sometimes, we have to build small moments of calm directly into the life we already have.

A Simple Reset

Here is one tool I often recommend because it is simple, discreet, and realistic.

Before you respond, decide, send, speak, agree, or react — pause for two minutes.

Try this:

Place both feet on the floor.
Relax your shoulders.
Take one slow breath in.
Exhale a little longer than you inhale.
Notice one thing you can see.
Notice one thing you can feel.
Ask yourself: What is the next right step?

Not the perfect step.
Not the forever decision.
Just the next right step.

This small pause can interrupt the automatic stress response and help you return to yourself before moving forward.

It will not solve every problem.

But it can change the state you are in when you meet the problem.

And that can change everything.

Calm First. Then Move Forward.

We do not need to wait for life to be peaceful before we practice peace.

We do not need perfect circumstances to create a steadier response.

And we do not need to overhaul our entire life to begin feeling more grounded.

Sometimes the most powerful shift begins with a pause, a breath, and the decision to stop meeting every moment from a place of urgency.

That is the heart of calming the chaos.

Not pretending life is easy.
Not denying what is hard.
Not stepping away from responsibility.

But learning to come back to center before we move forward.

Because when we are calmer, we are clearer.

And when we are clearer, we are far more likely to choose the next step that actually supports the life, work, relationships, and well-being we are trying to build.

Calm is not a luxury.

It is a lifeline.

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About the Author

Mary-Anne Schelb is a Life Coach, Holistic Consultant, Holistic Health Practitioner and founder of Intentional Calm. Through her work, Mary-Anne helps busy professionals calm the chaos, reduce stress, and move forward with more clarity, steadiness, and intention.

She is the creator of the Intentional Calm Method™, a practical framework that blends holistic wellness, nervous-system support, mindfulness, energy work, journaling, and intentional living tools to help people return to center and make clearer, more grounded decisions.

In addition to her holistic wellness practice, Mary-Anne is an author, educator, speaker, and workshop facilitator. Her signature message is simple: calm is not a luxury — it is a lifeline.

Learn more at Intentional Calm.

The Digital Mess We Leave Behind

Why Every Adult Should Prepare Their Online Accounts Before It’s Too Late

I recently read an article in Epoch Times that grounded me quickly. I'm getting up there in age and have so many digital accounts. The article made me think about what will happen to all those accounts, especially the ones that I'm paying a subscription for.

Most people spend time preparing wills, organizing finances, or thinking about who will inherit treasured possessions after they pass away. But very few people stop to think about something else that now follows us through nearly every part of life:  Our digital footprint.

Think about how much of your life now exists online:

• family photos stored in the cloud

• email accounts

• social media profiles

• streaming subscriptions

• banking apps

• online businesses

• YouTube channels

• passwords

• documents

• auto-pay accounts

Now imagine your family trying to sort through all of that while grieving. Unfortunately, many families are left scrambling because nobody ever prepared them for the digital side of death. The good news is that this problem is easier to solve than most people realize.

Start by Choosing a Digital Executor

One of the smartest things you can do is designate someone who will handle your digital life after you’re gone. This person is often called a digital executor. They don’t necessarily have to be the same person handling your estate, but they should be:

• trustworthy

• organized

• reasonably comfortable with technology

• willing to help your family navigate online accounts and subscriptions

Most importantly, don’t just mention it casually in conversation. Write it down. Include instructions in your will or in a separate document that your executor knows exists. Verbal wishes often disappear during stressful moments.

Use the Legacy Tools That Already Exist

Many people don’t realize that companies like Google, Apple, Facebook, and Instagram already provide tools that allow you to prepare your accounts ahead of time.

For example:

Google

Google’s Inactive Account Manager allows you to decide what happens to your Gmail, Google Photos, Drive, and YouTube accounts after a period of inactivity.

You can:

• have data deleted

• allow trusted people access

• notify selected family members

Apple

Apple’s Digital Legacy feature allows you to assign a legacy contact who can request access to important files, photos, notes, and messages after your death.

Facebook and Instagram

These platforms allow you to:

• memorialize your account

• designate a legacy contact

• request account deletion ahead of time

These tools are free and only take a few minutes to set up.

Ignoring them means giant tech companies may make decisions for your accounts instead of you.

The Password Problem

This is where many families hit a wall.

Even if loved ones know accounts exist, they often cannot access them.

Some people leave no information at all.

Others make the mistake of storing passwords in unsafe places like:

• sticky notes

• random notebooks

• unprotected Word documents

• phone notes apps

A password manager with emergency-access settings can be extremely helpful. Several services allow you to choose a trusted emergency contact who can request access if something happens to you. If password managers feel overwhelming right now, even a simple written inventory stored securely with your important documents is far better than nothing.

Don’t Forget About Subscriptions

Here’s another issue many families never consider:  Recurring charges continue after death unless someone stops them. Streaming services, software subscriptions, gym memberships, apps, website hosting, and automatic bill payments can quietly continue charging credit cards or bank accounts for months. During a stressful time, your family may not even know these accounts exist.

A simple list containing:

• the service name

• login email

• approximate monthly cost

can save your loved ones enormous frustration later.

One Final Thought

Preparing your digital life is not about expecting the worst. It’s about making life easier for the people you care about. A few hours of organization today can prevent confusion, financial headaches, and emotional stress for your family someday. And honestly, that may be one of the kindest gifts you leave behind.

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This post was inspired by an excellent article discussing digital legacy planning and online account management after death.

Original article:
The Epoch Times article on digital legacy planning