More Common Communication Mistakes that You Might Be Making (part 2 of 2)

These are behaviors we have all been guilty of at some time.

If you missed part 1, click here to read 6 Common Communication Mistakes



7. Having negative or apathetic body language.
People are constantly throwing off a storm of signals. These signals are often silent (non-verbal) messages communicated through the sender's body movements, facial expressions, voice tone and loudness. If these don’t match your words, you may be viewed as inauthentic and not someone to trust.

8. Not paraphrasing and restating what the other person says.
The only way they can know that you heard and understand them is to restate what they said or comment in some way.

9. Letting your emotions control what you say.
Words cannot be retracted.  When you’re angry, pause for a few seconds (minutes, hours) until you can think logically and create the outcome you desire.  

10. Attacking other people’s character instead of what they say or do.
Disagree with what someone says.  Resist saying, you’re a jerk! Instead of tearing them down, build them up.

11. Expecting people read your mind.
Speak directly and give clear expectations.  Remember, no one is a mind reader.  You can prevent being disappointed by clearly stating what you want.

12. Giving up your power with your words.

STOP saying “I’m sorry.” If an apology is warranted (and often it is not) DO say, “I apologize” ….that I missed the meeting, forgot to bring my report, etc.    There are lots of ways to be polite without coming across as weak.  The other person is more likely to take advantage of you if they believe you are weak. And will trust you if they believe you are sincere.
Being a good communicator takes effort. It’s like being a good athlete - you have to practice if you want to be good at your craft!

Are you the communicator you need to be?

Ann Meacham is president of Leadership Dynamics.  She works with business owners and executives to help them see issues that need to be addressed and ensure the focus in on the big picture. 

Check out our Executive Coaching Program Email a comment to ann@leadyourteams.com  For more about us take a look at How We Work

The framework to outwit the devil. Part 2 - Meet the "other self"

Andrew Carnegie talked about the idea of the "Other Self"

Nearly all of us have a spiritual being inside of us.

It is called the "other self".

Your body and mind holds the physical self.

Your "other self" lives in your heart and soul.

People are just too busy, too afraid, too smart, too stubborn, or lazy to discover it.

Most are completely unaware of it's existence and all the power and clarity that discovering your "other self" can give you.

Mr Carnegie told Napoleon Hill that if he ever did discover his "other self" it would make itself known in an unusual emergency.

Why did he say this?

When look I back at my own life... When I was headstrong I hit roadblocks.

If my pride and stubbornness lead me down a road it often turned into dead end.

After getting mad, at myself, for reaching a dead end.

I can admit that I am lost.

When I am lost I am ready to accept help.

If I am quiet and ready to listen...

This is the time I am ready for wisdom of my "other self" .

It wants to guide and advise me.

I just need to ready to listen.

This is how most people discover their "other self" 

Being introduced by adversity is something I like to avoid.

The thing is adversity is the only thing that causes most humans to shut-up and listen.

There is no nice way to say this.

We love living in our heads.

We love to find meaning in meaningless things.

Nearly everyone rather hear themselves talk then to listen.

And all this is quite distracting. 

It is best to learn the first time and start listening more.

First off start just admitting you don't have all the answers.

Listen more think less.

Meditate so you can clear your mind, focus your life, and open yourself up to your true potential.

Your "other self" is a gift

Pray to your higher power (I call mine god) before you need help.

Your "other self" is often the vehicle that provides the answer.

Be perceptive of knowledge beyond your intellect and wisdom greater then your years.

And have faith that you are important.

You have blessed with the gift of an "other self" to lead you to your true purpose.

When you focus on all your energies on your true defining purpose everything else falls into place.

Next month we will tackle fear. 


Michael Eger is a health and happiness coach based out of Western MA. He is the host of Eager to be Healthy a Health and Happiness Podcast on iTunes.  His website is www.michaelegerhealthcoach.com

Please order your copy of Napolean Hill's Outwitting the Devil below.

How to Manage Your Clients

Say what??  It seems a little alien to think about going beyond providing quality services, being punctual, warm, friendly and very competent.  However, you can foster a relationship with your clients by better understanding their communication style and personality; making sure you understand what they want from you; giving them thoughtful feedback and ideas; and being reliable.

Help them understand what their part is in the success of a project or program.  Be honest (blunt) about how long it might take and how much it is likely to cost.  As the saying goes, “Under promise and over deliver.”  It will keep them coming back for more!

Managing your client is about earning their trust and respect by working together to create the best possible working relationship.

A few tips to strengthening and keeping a positive relationship with your clients.

• Learn how to best communicate with them.

What level of detail do they prefer?  How often do they want to meet?  Are they in a hurry or do they prefer to study the details?

• Be proactive.

Understand the strengths you bring to the work and ensure they are aware of them. Be confident and open-minded and not arrogant.

• Meet regularly.  

Keep them up to date on what is happening with their project.  Share as much as you can without burdening them with too much detail. Show progress and keep to time lines as much as possible.

• Ask their opinion.  

Ask for their perspective on things.  Share your ideas and planned approach, and ask for their input. Ask for their feedback and ideas.  Be sure to listen!

• Create solutions.

Every project can have challenges or problems.  When that occurs, develop solution choices before sharing the problem with them.  If they have a complaint, look at ways to solve it. Don’t defend yourself or your company.  No excuses. Just make it right.

• Develop a power that makes you attractive.

Be the expert, stay apprised of changes in your industry, understand the competition, create and sustain a dream customer/client relationship. Become indispensable! Market and utilize a strength that they will appreciate and use.

• Do a reality check

Remain positive and let them know what is possible – or not possible – to achieve.  Make every effort to be outstanding…..within reality.

Invest the time to build a relationship with your clients, understand how they prefer to be communicated with, and model your leadership behaviors to support those preferences.  They will trust you more because of it!

Ann Meacham, president of Leadership Dynamics,works with CEOs and business leaders to clear their blind spots so they can identify the issues that need to be addressed and focus on making their business succeed. 

Contact her for a Free Leadership Strategy Session. or call 860-788-3504 www.leadyourteams.com