MISSING THE BOAT

It is my belief that I am an effective coach, mentor, instructor, because so much of what I teach about customer service and Emotional Intelligence did not come naturally to me. I have had to learn some concepts the hard way, questioning them and grappling with them until they made sense to me.  This has helped me to understand and empathize with clients who have difficulty grasping a point. It keeps me from ever trivializing someone’s lack of understanding. Many managers, professors, customers, mentors, and coworkers have had a part in my training. I’d like to tell you about one coworker, Edythe.

Years ago, when I was strict and inflexible about company policy, Edythe mentored me through her example. She guided me to better behavior, despite my churlish, insufferable attitude. She was senior to me in our workplace and in life, and miles ahead of me in the social graces. We worked in close proximity for a couple of years, until I moved on to other work. As I matured, I continued to appreciate and internalize the concepts Edythe had modeled. And as I recognized her wisdom, I thought of someday sending her a note of thanks.

Many years after we had worked together I was having lunch with a friend in a Simsbury restaurant. There was Edythe, sitting with a woman who was wearing scrubs. I recognized her immediately. When the other woman left the table for a moment, I went over and introduced myself.  I reminded Edythe where we had worked, and expressed my gratitude for the huge impact she had on my professional growth over the years.  

Edythe gave me an uncomprehending smile and looked around nervously for the other woman. It became clear to me that in her current condition she was unable to understand who I was, or why I had approached her. She seemed agitated, so I apologized for bothering her and returned to my table, having forever missed the opportunity to thank her.  That was probably her final lesson for me, which I share with you in Edythe’s honor.

 

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates

Workshops and Seminars in all facets of Emotional Intelligence Development
Email: Jeannie@JZNAssociates.com

Connect on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jeannienewman/

 

HOW TO FRUSTRATE YOUR CUSTOMER

When you are out of sync with your customer’s style of presenting, you can frustrate them and lose their confidence. The greater the mismatch, the greater the frustration. 

Have you seen the television commercial of the chameleon walking past many different colors of paint, his own color changing to match it as he goes past? There is a lesson there for us~~not that I am comparing you to a lizard, you understand. Think about it this way: Good communication involves matching one’s pace and wording with the others in the conversation. While we are in customer service mode, it’s not about us.

 

On our own time, we might wish to impress our English professor with our vocabulary of esoteric, four-syllable words, or our new manager with our command of industry jargon. Talking with the customer~~client, resident, donor~~requires a different set of skills: Social skills. Pay attention to the customer’s delivery. Is it slow and chatty? Is it fast-paced and to the point? The first one, provided you are not in a crunch situation, may enjoy chatting about the weird weather we’ve had lately. The second one’s hair is on fire, so drop the small talk and pick up the extinguisher. And you will lose credibility with the one who has a good command of technical terms if you use words like “thingamabob” or “whatchamacallit.”

Just as it helps to allow your posture to reflect a customer’s body language, it helps to allow your speech to echo their vocal patterns. Do be careful; there can be a fine line between resonating with your customer versus looking or sounding as though you are consciously copying them. If you sense that your customer is receiving the wrong message, stop your attempt.

This is all about your ability to recognize, respect, and meet your customer’s needs. We, as humans, feel comfortable with those who seem similar to us, yet have the knowledge to fix our problem. Sometimes it is important to create comfort and rapport; other times action is called for, rather than niceties. Your Emotional Intelligence will guide you in the right direction. More about that in May.

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates is the go-to person for all  
your social skills training needs. Find her at
JZNAssociates.com, or on LinkedIn. 
JZN Associates is available for guided discussions,
workshops, or seminars. Inquire about special retainer rates.