Primal Leadership Part 4

Part 4 Building Emotionally Intelligent Organizations

       

     Groups are smarter than individuals only when they show emotional intelligence. We’ve all heard of the mob mentality. The mob mentality isn’t so smart. Each member of an emotionally intelligent group must have some degree of emotional intelligence. This is especially true for the leader who sets the emotional tone of the group.  

            The true work of a leader is to monitor the emotional tone of the team and to help its members recognize any underlying dissonance. These can be difficult conversations. Unfortunately, most leaders settle for safer conversations about the team itself, the organization, the people, the strategy, and functional alignment while avoiding the more difficult subjects of emotional reality and the norms of the team. By avoiding these tougher topics the leader is only adding to the dissonance (negative feelings) of the team, and causes individuals to lose touch with their unique own best qualities as their passion fades.

            A company with employees who have a common vision is an emotionally intelligent organization that defines its vision in sync with its employees’ hopes and dreams for themselves. These spectacular companies create extraordinary moments or experiences that people go through together to create that tribal feeling, that shared mythology, which in return, creates a company that has empathy.

            Emotional intelligent leaders connect with a vision that moves a culture toward resonance (positive feelings) through what they feel, sense and think about the organization. They connect with the vision and notice the gaps that the typical data doesn’t identify. They collectively involve all in a deliberate study of themselves and the organization. They look at the reality and the ideal vision, identify gaps and go to work on closing those gaps.

            Ambitious leaders need to slowdown in order to speed up. Bringing in as many people as possible into the conversations about the culture and systems of the organization is critical. Leaders need to see the emotional, and then craft a meaningful vision with which people can identify on a deep and personal level. People need to feel they can reach the organization’s dreams without compromising their own dreams. People come first. Strategy comes second. Focus on what people really want and need, and then build a culture around that and build your dreams together.

            People don’t change because of another five year plan. Besides the era of Russian dictator Joseph Stalin is long over. People change when they are emotionally engaged and committed. Focus on the individual first, then the team second, and then the organization last.

            Our world is calling for change. We are in the midst of transformational change. Half of the business models out there will be obsolete in 2-5 years from now. We can’t be frozen in fear. We must manage our emotions and look for new ways. People can no longer be seen as expendable. The Captains of Industry era of the top-down approach is gone. The art of the relationship is rising to the top today. Emotional intelligence is a must for moving forward…

Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker and educator. To learn more about Dan please visit his website at: www.DanBlanchard.net. Thanks.

Primal Leadership Part 3

Part Three: Making Leaders

    

        We spent much of Part One of the blog about Primal Leadership talking about how emotional intelligence helps leaders, and the lack of emotional intelligence hinders leaders. The ironic thing is that the higher one travels up the ladder of success, the less likely this leader is going to receive honest feedback on his or her emotional intelligence. This phenomenon is called the CEO Disease.

            It takes a lot of courage to tell the boss that he or she has been performing poorly in the emotional intelligence arena lately. This is especially difficult to do when the boss has been a little rough lately and everyone is ducking for cover and trying to stay off the radar. People want to keep their job and continue to be able to feed their children.

            The bottom line is that many CEOs lose some of their self-awareness as they travel up the rings. However, the ironic thing is that study after study shows that self-awareness is greatest among companies doing well, and poorest among companies doing poorly. So, now it comes down to which poor soul is going to put their job on the line to tell the boss that he or she is out of touch and acting like a schmuck because it’s good for the whole company if the boss is made self-aware?

            As I said earlier, the good thing is that emotional intelligence can be learned. However, according to, Primal Leadership, most training and leadership programs only target the neocortex rather than the limbic brain. Leadership skills usually comes down to habits learned early in life. So, if we’re going to re-educate the emotional brain, they typical leadership program isn’t going to cut it. In order, to re-educate the emotional brain we need lots of practice and repetition aimed at the limbic centers of the brain. This kind of learning is very slow; but, that’s a good thing because once it’s learned, it’s learned very well, at a much deeper limbic level. Furthermore, this learning will be retained much longer than traditional surface level cognitive learning.

            The cycle of successful change through emotional intelligence consist first of discovering what our ideal self really is. Second, then unearthing who we exactly are. What is our real self? Third, we have to discover what our learning agenda is. Next, we have to practice our new thoughts and behaviors over and over and over. Lastly, we need to discover some supportive relationships. We need people who help us succeed.

            Emotional intelligence in leaders requires that they at least have some vision of their ideal lives. Through this vision they can uncover their real selves. This requires self-awareness though. Leadership strengths lie at the crossroads of where one’s real self matches one’s ideal self. Where it doesn’t are the gaps that one needs to work on.

            Improvement plans crafted around learning rather than performance outcomes have been found to be more effective for working on those gaps mentioned in the paragraph above. The best kind of learning is when one gets to focus on what one wants to become; one’s ideal self, rather than what others want him or her to become. One’s own life goals ignite their full range of talents. And the more parts of one’s life that can be identified as relevant to one’s leadership goals, the more chances one will have to practice and grow. Being handed a performance goal des the opposite. It undermines motivation. It causes anxiety, and decreases performance.

            Goals should be built on a person’s strengths, not their weaknesses. Plans of improvement should be flexible, feasible, and fit into their life and work, as well as fit into their learning style if it’s going to have the biggest impact on their development and growth.

            The problem is that people try to force leadership upon others and thus these poor souls learn it haphazardly by repeating what they saw others do while growing up, or their own poor previous attempts at it. The good thing is that one can improve in leadership by becoming aware of bad habits and constantly practicing a better way until one masters it. Having a good supportive relationship here really helps a lot in making this change.

Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker and educator. To learn more about Dan please visit his website at: www.DanBlanchard.net. Thanks.

Primal Intelligence Part 2

Part Two: The Power of Emotional Intelligence Continued

 In part one we talked about the emotional intelligence domains and the associated competencies that are a prerequisite to good leadership. Now we’re going to move onto the different leadership styles. The direct leadership styles discussed in Primal Leadership are: 1. Visionary. 2. Coaching. 3. Affiliative. 4. Democratic. These first four are good for building a resonance leadership that drives positive emotions and feelings that was discussed earlier. The last two of: 5. Pacesetting, and 6. Commanding can also be effective leadership styles, but must be used sparingly because they can cause dissonance, or negative feelings and emotions.

            A visionary leader gets buy-in from others because this leader helps people understand their “why”. This kind of leader is inspiring, and is empathic. A smart company realizes that vision offers a company its unique ‘brand’ or a way to distinguish itself from other companies in the same field or industry. Smart companies use this vision as a standard for performance and performance feedback. It helps employees see how they contribute to the big picture.

            The coaching style doesn’t scream bottom-line results, but in a surprisingly indirect way it gets results through the leaders really getting to know their people, establishing rapport and trust, and successfully linking their daily work to their long-term goals. Coaches are really good at keeping people motivated. And motivated people tend to improve the bottom-line.

            Affiliative leaders nurture personal relationships. They value downtime because it builds up emotional capital that can be drawn from when times get tough. They focus on the emotional needs of their people over goals and are good at healing rifts and bringing a team back together. They are good at solving conflict and creating harmony. These leaders also have some vision. Joe Torre, manager of the famed New York Yankees baseball team was a good example of an affiliative leader.  

            Democratic leaders are great at listening to others. They truly hear what people say. They are great communicators. Democrat leadership style works great when leaders aren’t certain which direction to go. They’re great at getting buy-in. They’re also great at implementing the vision that others haven’t been successful in doing. Democratic leaders actually execute the vision and tend to get fresh ideas all along the way from their workers on how to implement the vision even better.

            Now, onto the last two leadership styles. Pacesetting works great when one already has a team that is highly motivated and needs very little direction, and are competent. Since very few of us are leading the UConn Husky girls’ basketball team, we need to use the pacesetting leadership style sparingly. Coach Geno Auriemma probably doesn’t. This style can be misleading because in the beginning one can get results. However, pacesetting in the wrong environment usually turns our vision into just pure survival. It poisons the climate. And that’s bad for everyone.

            Of all the leadership styles, the commanding style, which is really the coercive approach, doesn’t just poison the climate, but it can destroy it! It destroys the morale of the workforce as people walk around on egg shells afraid to do anything. They spend a good amount of their energy, not being the creative genius that they were meant to be, but rather just trying to stay off the radar. Now, to be fair, there are still some commanding leaders left over in the military and medical fields, for example, who are still getting good results. But, unfortunately, many of these gains aren’t real or lasting.

            Their gains are usually short-term gains with an extremely high cost, especially to personal and human capital. When these commanding leaders are finally pushed out the door, that’s when what they really did comes unraveled and then it comes all crashing down, taking years to rebound; if ever able to rebound from the former wrecking ball. This is when it probably makes sense to find a good affiliative leader who can come in and heal the rifts and damaged relationships that the last leader left in his or her wake. 

Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker and educator. To learn more about Dan please visit his website at: www.DanBlanchard.net. Thanks.

PRIMAL INTELLIGENCE

Part One: The Power of Emotional Intelligence

        

    The real magic of great leaders isn’t in what they do, but rather in how they do it. Understanding the emotional tones in the workplace is what separates the best leaders from the average leaders. The leaders who understand emotions are better able to build higher morale, more motivation and a deeper commitment among their workers, which creates better retention of talent and better results on the productivity side. All of these positive factors add up to positive profits.

            The bottom line is that followers are always looking to leaders for emotional support and empathy. When leaders drive out invisible toxic emotions and drive in positive emotions it is called resonance in this book. And when leaders drive emotions towards the negative it’s called dissonance. Everyone watches the boss. People take their cues from the boss. So the boss better be aware of the emotional tone that he or she is setting.

            People want to work with leaders who have some emotional intelligences and are able to exude upbeat feelings. Creating this positive upbeat atmosphere is how emotionally intelligent leaders are able to retain talented people.

            One of the oldest laws of psychology is that anything beyond a moderate level of anxiety and worry erodes mental abilities and makes us less emotionally intelligent. Thus, leaders who spread bad moods are bad for business because employees are likely to quit. And the ones who stay, can’t be at their best or even think at their best. So, once again poor emotional leaders are bad for business. But, you want to know what is good for business? Good mood spreaders who are emotionally intelligent leaders. They are good for business because of many reasons. However, here is just one of those reasons: every 1% increase in the service climate creates a 2% increase in revenue.

            We can no longer afford to believe that just because a very intelligent person was put into a leadership position that it will automatically make everything okay. Einstein once said, “We should take care not to make the intellect our God. It has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. It cannot lead, it can only serve.” Good intellect can serve. Good emotional intelligence can lead. Now imagine what the two of them can do together.

            There is no fixed formula for great leadership and it’s not innate. We aren’t born with it. That really is good news, and so is this next part too. The emotional intelligence necessary for great leadership can be learned. Furthermore, there is no one set path to great leadership. As the old maxim goes, there are many roads to Rome.

            However, if one hopes to become a great leader someday, studies have shown that it helps to have at least one competency from each of the four fundamental areas of emotional intelligence. These four domains consist of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness and relationship management.

            Self-awareness consist of things like knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses. People who are self-aware have a ‘gut-sense’ to guide their decision-making process. They self-manage, which means they have self-control, have integrity, are flexible and are optimistic. These people are usually also self-starters, and achievers.

            Social awareness is having empathy or understanding the perspectives of others. It’s having the ability to read the currents and the politics of a particular situation and environment. As well as, recognizing and meeting customer needs.

            Relationship management is being able to motivate people with a compelling vision and then being able to persuade them to move forward and do it. It’s developing others. It’s resolving conflict. And it’s also being able to go in a new direction while maintaining friendships, and being a good team player.

            So as this book, Primal Leadership mentioned earlier, if you have at least one competency from each of the four domains of emotional intelligence you’re in a pretty good place to be a good leader someday.

Dan Blanchard is an award-winning author, speaker and educator. To learn more about Dan please visit his website at: www.DanBlanchard.net. Thanks.

Bee-haviors of Successful Sales Professionals

What do you think about sales people who always appear to be doing great regardless of how things are going? When things don’t go their way, they seem to have the ability to just shake it off and move forward. When things do go their way, they almost always act as if they expected it to turn out that way all along.

If you look at the way those people handle their sales careers, you might notice that they handle their accounts with that same kind of attitude and consistency too. They dress their best for every meeting and exude the confidence that goes along with it. They take their client’s calls, and take action to resolve issues, treating each situation they encounter as an opportunity rather than a problem.

They put their time and energy into their accounts just like other sales professionals do, they just do it with enthusiasm rather than complaints. The funny part is that they seem to look forward to handling whatever comes their way—both the good and the bad.

Back when you were starting your sales career, one of your goals was to make a good impression with every account. Chances are good that you went the extra mile when you could too. Granted, the accounts you’re handling now are probably bigger. You might even describe your current list of accounts as “comfortable.” But don’t let complacency and a poor attitude become an excuse for letting things slide with any of your key accounts.

As a sales professional, your livelihood will be heavily influenced by the quality of both your attitude and your process, and that means following the same protocols with each of your key accounts.

Making the commitment to being a great sales person is what sets the stage for long-term growth in sales revenue, and it’s a great disservice to your clients to assume that they can’t tell the difference between the sales rep who’s committed to doing what’s best for the them and the rep who’s just putting in enough face time to keep the account alive. They can. So, if you want your revenues to keep growing (because maintaining without growth isn’t an option these days) put aside some time to revisit your sales process, and your attitude.

What are you doing that works? What are you doing that hasn’t been working lately? How consistent are you with your sales process and protocols? Are there times when your assumptions (rather than your research) directly interfere with your process and/or attitude to your detriment?

I could go through the long list of things there are to look at, but you should be able to look at your process, and your attitude, and figure it out. If you’re having trouble deciphering or remembering what your personal sales process is, or you’re realizing that you’ve gotten off track and aren’t sure of how to get back on, or you’re struggling to reclaim your positive attitude, it’s time to schedule a consultation with me so we can figure it out, because:

There’s never a better time than the present to reignite the fire in your gut!

Alan Luoma: I am a Sales Coach with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, new

product development, sales and product training. I work with a great national sustainable packaging company and their exceptional distributors to increase sales. My success has been and is in utilizing the Pareto 80/20 principal in business and life. I have become an expert in seeking out and eliminating behaviors that prevent business people from being successful. I am a member of The National Speakers Association and New England Speakers Association. You can view my profile on LinkedIn, or contact me at Luoma@snet.net 

Warning: Ignoring Your Gut Feelings Could Ruin Your Life!

During a recent conversation with my daughter, she told me about a friend of hers who cancelled her wedding just shy of 3 weeks before it was supposed to take place. Drama and lost deposits aside, her decision to cancel impressed me. It had all come down to her deciding not to ignore her gut feelings. Something about the relationship just hadn’t felt right.

Early on in my sales career I accepted a job my gut tried me to warn me about. "Don't do it! There are red flags all over the place!” I didn’t listen. Instead, I ignored my own inner intuition in favor of the logical parts of my brain where all the reasons justifying why I should take the job resided. Needless to say, it wasn’t too long after I started the job that I realized I should have listened to what my gut – instincts, intuition, or whatever you want to call it – had been trying to tell me.

We have gut reactions for a reason. When we get them, our job is to take some time to consider what our gut reaction is trying to get us to pay attention to. Granted, there are times in life when you will make choices that go against your gut. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you take the time to try and figure out what and/or why you’re reacting. Below are a few insights meant to remind you of how truly valuable your own internal guidance can be.

Everyone has gut reactions, but they tend to pop up when we’re facing a decision. Our gut could be saying “Yes!” or “No!” because we have gut feelings in both directions. Either way, this reaction to a situation is reason enough to consider what it is that does or doesn’t feel right. If you can identify the cause/source of your reaction, you’ll be in a much better position to make a better decision.

Ignore your gut reactions at your own risk. Your gut instincts, feelings, reactions, and intuitions have one goal – to keep you safe and happy. The problem is that all your gut can do is let you know when your safety and/or happiness might be affected. Your gut can’t tell you what to do. That’s why it pays dividends to pay attention to what it’s trying to tell you. When you do, again, you’re more likely to make better decisions about how to proceed.

Your gut will remind you what’s important to you—even when you aren’t sure what’s important to you. Do you find yourself getting stuck in the same situations over and over again? I’m willing to bet your gut instincts have been working overtime trying to get your attention each time the same less-than-ideal situation comes around. From now on, if you begin to recognize a pattern that isn’t doing you any favors, stop! Is it possible your gut has been trying to inspire you to make a different decision all along?

Most successful people think of their gut instincts and intuition as a gift, and have learned to pay attention to them. That doesn’t mean they make their decisions based solely on those feelings. They use them as an invitation to look deeper into a situation and make sure that the course of action they choose is more likely to be beneficial, meaningful, and possibly even more profitable for them in the long-run.

What have your gut instincts and reactions been trying to tell you lately?

Alan Luoma: I am a Sales Coach with extensive experience in industrial sales, sales management, new

product development, sales and product training. I work with a great national sustainable packaging company and their exceptional distributors to increase sales. My success has been and is in utilizing the Pareto 80/20 principal in business and life. I have become an expert in seeking out and eliminating behaviors that prevent business people from being successful. I am a member of The National Speakers Association and New England Speakers Association. You can view my profile on LinkedIn, or contact me at Luoma@snet.net 

Great Leaders Use Emotion

What were you doing in the morning 43 days ago?

I bet you don't know.

But if I asked "What were you doing in the morning 5,043 days ago?"

You could probably answer in vivid detail.

Why?

5,043 days ago was September 11, 2001.

The emotional intensity of the experience seared that memory into your 'unforgettable' file.

In their book, Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath write about why some ideas and others survive.   When ideas are sticky, you remember them.

In a world where we're swamped by data, connecting people to emotions helps them to remember things.     

As a leader who wants to influence, it's vital that you help people connect to their emotions. This is what the best marketers and advertisers do.   Why do you remember your favorite TV commercials?  Because they draw on your heartstrings.  They make you laugh and/or cry.  

What matters most to the people you lead?  How can you help them connect to that?  What stories, images, music, or actions can prompt a visceral experience? 

It'll take an investment upfront to figure this out.  But the payoffs can be huge.  

What techniques have you used to connect people to emotion? Join the conversation by leaving a comment below.

ODE TO PHEBE CANFIELD CAMP---AND TO US

Probably because of last month’s holiday, I awoke this morning thinking of my home town, Durham, Connecticut. All during my grade school years I marched in the Memorial Day parade, which always ended in front of the cemetery. Although we knew my mother’s side of the family had been in New England since before the Revolutionary War, it wasn’t until the 1990’s that I discovered that one of my eighth great grandmothers, Phebe Canfield Camp, is interred in that cemetery.  I doubt my mother was aware we had such deep roots in the town.

I've often lauded the bravery required of and exhibited by women living in the New World during the 1700’s and before, when the entire population of settlers was under 300,000, and creature comforts were few. Women routinely faced death by starvation or childbirth, or infections, or by the hands of the original inhabitants. Getting water for drinking, cooking, bathing and laundering must have required daily acts of determination and even heroism.

In 2015 our U.S. population is over 300 million. Women share personal and intimate information in the ether for anyone in the entire world (and beyond?) to see and use. We typically drive personal transportation machinery at speeds of 60 or more miles per hour. We trust our safety to strangers who pilot us through the air. We expose our bodies in a way Phebe could not have condoned or even imagined, and we may elect to raise children without benefit of a husband in the home. We are confident we can provide a living for our families.

On this day, June 17th, a new thought occurs to me. If Phebe were here now she might laud our everyday brand of bravery. It requires different skills than she needed, but our bravery is equally impressive.

Jeannie Newman, CEO of JZN Associates,  offers professional and personal development workshops and seminars  to corporations, organizations, and agencies. Topics include the CustomerCentric Mindset,  Staff Retention, Self Esteem, and everything in between. All offerings feature Emotional Intelligence at their core. Find her at JZNAssociates.com, or on LinkedIn. Her avocation, as you may have guessed, is genealogy.

 

MISSING THE BOAT

It is my belief that I am an effective coach, mentor, instructor, because so much of what I teach about customer service and Emotional Intelligence did not come naturally to me. I have had to learn some concepts the hard way, questioning them and grappling with them until they made sense to me.  This has helped me to understand and empathize with clients who have difficulty grasping a point. It keeps me from ever trivializing someone’s lack of understanding. Many managers, professors, customers, mentors, and coworkers have had a part in my training. I’d like to tell you about one coworker, Edythe.

Years ago, when I was strict and inflexible about company policy, Edythe mentored me through her example. She guided me to better behavior, despite my churlish, insufferable attitude. She was senior to me in our workplace and in life, and miles ahead of me in the social graces. We worked in close proximity for a couple of years, until I moved on to other work. As I matured, I continued to appreciate and internalize the concepts Edythe had modeled. And as I recognized her wisdom, I thought of someday sending her a note of thanks.

Many years after we had worked together I was having lunch with a friend in a Simsbury restaurant. There was Edythe, sitting with a woman who was wearing scrubs. I recognized her immediately. When the other woman left the table for a moment, I went over and introduced myself.  I reminded Edythe where we had worked, and expressed my gratitude for the huge impact she had on my professional growth over the years.  

Edythe gave me an uncomprehending smile and looked around nervously for the other woman. It became clear to me that in her current condition she was unable to understand who I was, or why I had approached her. She seemed agitated, so I apologized for bothering her and returned to my table, having forever missed the opportunity to thank her.  That was probably her final lesson for me, which I share with you in Edythe’s honor.

 

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates

Workshops and Seminars in all facets of Emotional Intelligence Development
Email: Jeannie@JZNAssociates.com

Connect on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jeannienewman/

 

HOW TO FRUSTRATE YOUR CUSTOMER

When you are out of sync with your customer’s style of presenting, you can frustrate them and lose their confidence. The greater the mismatch, the greater the frustration. 

Have you seen the television commercial of the chameleon walking past many different colors of paint, his own color changing to match it as he goes past? There is a lesson there for us~~not that I am comparing you to a lizard, you understand. Think about it this way: Good communication involves matching one’s pace and wording with the others in the conversation. While we are in customer service mode, it’s not about us.

 

On our own time, we might wish to impress our English professor with our vocabulary of esoteric, four-syllable words, or our new manager with our command of industry jargon. Talking with the customer~~client, resident, donor~~requires a different set of skills: Social skills. Pay attention to the customer’s delivery. Is it slow and chatty? Is it fast-paced and to the point? The first one, provided you are not in a crunch situation, may enjoy chatting about the weird weather we’ve had lately. The second one’s hair is on fire, so drop the small talk and pick up the extinguisher. And you will lose credibility with the one who has a good command of technical terms if you use words like “thingamabob” or “whatchamacallit.”

Just as it helps to allow your posture to reflect a customer’s body language, it helps to allow your speech to echo their vocal patterns. Do be careful; there can be a fine line between resonating with your customer versus looking or sounding as though you are consciously copying them. If you sense that your customer is receiving the wrong message, stop your attempt.

This is all about your ability to recognize, respect, and meet your customer’s needs. We, as humans, feel comfortable with those who seem similar to us, yet have the knowledge to fix our problem. Sometimes it is important to create comfort and rapport; other times action is called for, rather than niceties. Your Emotional Intelligence will guide you in the right direction. More about that in May.

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates is the go-to person for all  
your social skills training needs. Find her at
JZNAssociates.com, or on LinkedIn. 
JZN Associates is available for guided discussions,
workshops, or seminars. Inquire about special retainer rates.