Happy Valentine's Day

by Carolyn Finch

Life has its ups and downs and when we are down we are feeling sorry for ourselves. When we are up we want to share ourselves with others. Isn’t it interesting that the reading of a heart beat also goes up and down hmm-mm? Then comes a day in February that is called Valentine's Day. Did it start with the card companies? No it started in 260 AD. It happened during the rule of the Roman Empire, and the beginning of Christianity. Now picture the Romans in their Togas.and think what it might have been like at the pagan Lupercalia Fertility Festival.

To begin the festival according to the History Channel, members of the Luperci, an order of Roman Priests, would gather at a sacred cave where the infants Romulus and Remus, the founders of Rome were thought to have been cared for by the she-wolf or lupa. The priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification. The men would then cut the goat hide into strips, dip then into the sacrificial blood and go into the streets gently slapping the women and the crop fields with the goat hides. Roman women were not fearful but welcomed  the touch of the hide because it was believed to make then more fertile in the coming year. Later in the day according to legend, women of the city would put their names in a big urn. The city's bachelors would each pick a name and become paired for a year with their chosen woman. Sometimes these relationships would lead to marriage.

The celebration was tolerated by the early Christians but when there was more power the Christian church  named the Lupa celebration St. Valentine's Day to Christianize it more. By the Middle Ages Love found it's way into the yearly celebration of  St. Valentine's Day and the first written valentine greeting was in 1400. Who was St. Valentine? That is a lively discussion you may wish to have after you Google it. There was always much confusion and controversy about the day and the saint so in 1969 the Roman Catholic Church removed the Saint and the retailer took over. 

You may be a part of the 120  billion dollars spent on this holiday every year in the United States. This is spent on candy, flowers and gifts. (jewelry wins out.) So go ahead and share yourself with others through whatever means you wish. For me love hugs are the best. Think about what is the very best gift you can receive? It is another day of life. So breathe deeply, put your hand over your heart, feel it beat and think about the ups and and downs in your life and move on with gratitude. Now reach around your body with both arms and give yourself the biggest hug you have ever had, you deserve it!      Happy Valentine's Day.

      “She’ll hold them in the palm of her hand”

Let Carolyn hold your audience in the palm of her hand…“Carolyn was dynamic, exciting and very knowledgeable. She knows how to keep her audience involved,
I recommend her without any reservation”                  George Tomka,   Meeting of Lutheran Educators

  Carolyn Finch    Master Teacher - Coach - Speaker     
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To Breathe or Not To Breathe? That is the question!

Breathe

Of course you know the answer.  If you don’t breathe you die.  We can live without food for weeks. We can live without water for several days but we can only live without air for about 6 minutes. Then the brain cells start to die.  If you are in a profession where you depend on your voice to sell a  product, ideas and benefits then a quick survey of your skills of breathing need to be assessed.

One of the ways I check breathing in my presentations and Speeches is to have audience members stand with the back of their legs against their chairs. Go ahead, stand up now and feel that chair behind your legs. That’s because when you breath gets thin you will want to sit down immediately, we don’t want any fainting! Your breath is your life and your vitality yet most people never think about breath as a reflection of their health. Here’s the test! While standing you will exhale all that “used air.” Let it make a noise as it escapes through the little round hole as you blow out the carbon dioxide. Then open your mouth and breathe in the oxygen filled air and let it make a noise across your vocal folds. Silently count as the air rushes in. When you can no longer breathe in, sit down and release your air.

 If you are breathing well your count would be 20 or more counts during the inhale. The average person has a count between 7 and 10. If you were in this range than remember to go outside every day and breathe outdoor air. Indoor air contains other peoples used air, pollutants including: paint and plastic fumes, chemicals, smoke, animal and people odors, cooking odors and 100 other substances that you can think of if you want to. IF your breath is on the weaker side practice diaphragmatic breathing

Almost anyone can learn to breathe with diaphragm muscle support. It does take practice. When you breathe deeply, you breathe automatically through your nose.  A good way to start developing the diaphragm, the largest muscle in the body, is to lie on the floor and pile books on your diaphragm.  Close your mouth and breathe deeply through your nose.  Watch carefully as the books rise and fall.  Continue until you feel the diaphragm pulling and strengthening.  When you are outside walking, keep your mouth closed as you inhale nasally on a count of – one, two, three then exhale on a count of one, two, and three. Remember when you are presenting information to others if you are nervous or tense breathe! Now doesn’t this help you breathe more easily?

Carolyn Finch                                                                  carolyn@carolynfinch.com 

Communication LifeStyle Expert™ Speaker                               WWW.carolynfinch.com

Conventions-Conferences-Corporate and Community functions           203 725 3133

                     Isn't it time to change your communication so you can change your life?

MISSING THE BOAT

It is my belief that I am an effective coach, mentor, instructor, because so much of what I teach about customer service and Emotional Intelligence did not come naturally to me. I have had to learn some concepts the hard way, questioning them and grappling with them until they made sense to me.  This has helped me to understand and empathize with clients who have difficulty grasping a point. It keeps me from ever trivializing someone’s lack of understanding. Many managers, professors, customers, mentors, and coworkers have had a part in my training. I’d like to tell you about one coworker, Edythe.

Years ago, when I was strict and inflexible about company policy, Edythe mentored me through her example. She guided me to better behavior, despite my churlish, insufferable attitude. She was senior to me in our workplace and in life, and miles ahead of me in the social graces. We worked in close proximity for a couple of years, until I moved on to other work. As I matured, I continued to appreciate and internalize the concepts Edythe had modeled. And as I recognized her wisdom, I thought of someday sending her a note of thanks.

Many years after we had worked together I was having lunch with a friend in a Simsbury restaurant. There was Edythe, sitting with a woman who was wearing scrubs. I recognized her immediately. When the other woman left the table for a moment, I went over and introduced myself.  I reminded Edythe where we had worked, and expressed my gratitude for the huge impact she had on my professional growth over the years.  

Edythe gave me an uncomprehending smile and looked around nervously for the other woman. It became clear to me that in her current condition she was unable to understand who I was, or why I had approached her. She seemed agitated, so I apologized for bothering her and returned to my table, having forever missed the opportunity to thank her.  That was probably her final lesson for me, which I share with you in Edythe’s honor.

 

Jeannie Newman of JZN Associates

Workshops and Seminars in all facets of Emotional Intelligence Development
Email: Jeannie@JZNAssociates.com

Connect on LinkedIn www.linkedin.com/in/jeannienewman/