Do You Understand?

In Stephen Covey’s landmark book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he addressed “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.”

People form opinions based on their own experiences. Unless they try to understand the other person's perspective, two people can see the same thing and form completely different viewpoints because their understanding is "autobiographical."

I frequently hear Covey’s quote in meetings.  Some people want to listen and find it difficult.  They are so intent on having their own opinion or idea heard that they scarcely hear what others are talking about.  Consequently people decide prematurely what they believe the other person is saying before others have had a chance to say it.

This form of “deafness” causes duplication, mistakes and loss of trust.  If someone can’t be trusted to acknowledge the other person and hear what they’re saying, then that person will stop trying.  They may pretend to participate, then do nothing, and everything remains the same…..no progress.

“A basic human need is that humans share a universal longing to be known and, being known, to be loved.”  Love may sound strange in a work setting.  Think of it as being accepted and acknowledged.  “When our conversations disregard this core need, our lives can seem like an ongoing, exhausting struggle to influence others to do what we want them to do.”  Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations

 Try this:

·        Ask a question with the intent of wanting to know the answer.

·        Be prepared to be in the moment and nowhere else. Do not scan your emails, check the sports scores or today’s news or play a game on your smart phone. (*We all know what you’re doing when you pull out your smart phone in a meeting!)

·        Listen for content, emotion and intent.  Hearing their words is only the beginning.

·        When a thought jumps into your head, jot it down, and get back to listening.

·        If you miss what they said, it’s okay to ask them to repeat it.

Outcome

People will really talk to you.  They will be more likely to listen, collaborate and cooperate when you do talk.  This can make your workplace more pleasant and more productive.  If you haven’t already, read her book, Fierce Conversations. Whether it’s with an employee, co-worker, boss, client, customer or family member, your relationships will be stronger.  You will have a better chance of getting what you want.  

Do you understand them?

Ann Meacham, president of Leadership Dynamics works with business owners and executives to clear their blind spots so they will know how to succeed in their business. Contact me: ann@leadyourteams.com Sign up for a Free Leadership Strategy Session on my website.

Are you lying to yourself?

It's important to know that your mind plays “dirty” tricks on you.  That is, your perception of reality is never reality itself.  Rather it is your mind’s version or internal representation of reality. 

This causes blind spots – beliefs you have that cause you to be unaware of factors and situations that are causing your business success strategies to fail.

Example: “It’s impossible to find and hire good people.” 

Blind spot#1: Frequently the reality is that you need to hire people because too many have left because they weren't having a positive work experience. Chances are they weren’t acknowledged or rewarded for good work, not ever asked for their opinion, or didn’t have a sense of belonging to the team. (And many more)  Many of them give up and stop producing because they believe no one truly cares.

Blind spot #2:  Since the people on your team are not trying anymore, it looks like they don’t care.  In reality, they feel disconnected and unappreciated…so they stop doing their best.  This change can occur within a few months after being hired.

It’s complicated and there is not enough space here to give it a more analysis.

Developing strategies and plans is a healthy practice for leaders to do. However, if your strategies include significant blind spots they are doomed from the outset.

Remember, you filter every experience through your own learned behaviors, experiences, beliefs, values, interests and states.  As a result, this filtering process distorts, deletes and generalizes your sense of reality. It feels like you know the truth.  Often it is not real.

• Where are you missing critical external cues that your strategies need to be adjusted?  
• Where are you over-estimating your abilities or those of your managers and leaders?  
• To what extent are you attached to your own strategies as being correct that you cannot perceive better ways of reaching your destination?

 The first step to get past blind spots is to be aware of every thought, assumption, belief (disguised as fact) and point of view with which you currently identify.  Challenge it. Especially when you believe you are right.

Find out how to clear your blind spots and create greater success in your company.

Contact me, Ann Meacham, at ann@leadyourteams.com or call 860-788-3504.  Click here to schedule a Free Leadership Strategy session.

Grow Your Business!

Ann Meacham

Hello Small Business Owners and Leaders,

I am your blogger for the 15^th of each month.  It is exciting to be a member of this cutting edge group and to be able to share a few insights that you can use to grow your business.

Leadership is a fundamental component of success regardless of the size of the business. And, in today’s competitive business environment, people who aren’t sure of how to confidently lead employees, co-workers, clients—or even themselves towards their goals will struggle with the negative effect it can have on both economic and individual results.

I have been working with business owners and executives for over 16 years, helping them develop and deploy their leadership skills to strategically grow their businesses. I focus on developing powerful leaders, building high-performance teams, managing organizations, and increasing profits.

Throughout my career I have worked with privately held companies, nonprofits, and government agencies. Through my coaching and guidance, many of my clients have experienced a 20% growth in revenues in the short term; and as high as 200% over 3-4 years.

 

Setting a vision and Success Indicators

“Business owners and Executives are key because they influence the well-being of an organization more than anyone else. If a company is making or losing money, it can usually be traced back to the quality of leadership utilized by the people in charge.”      

Are you making or losing money for your company?

Find out more about me at: http://www.leadyourteams.com