Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Please, Thank You, I Love You, How May I Help?

After Reading "The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People" (and then listening to it) I have become a big Stephen R. Covey fan. I am almost finished listening to "The 8th Habit" (and I just ordered a copy to read) and he stated that the words in this blog title are some of the most powerful in the world.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post  where I quoted a famous military hero named Matt Eversmann. He commented that as civilians, we seem to lack civility. Think about the last time you went out to dinner and told the server what you wanted without saying "please." It's a small kindness and you will be amazed at the doors it can open for you.
On the other end, is "thank you." remember that last time you held the door open for someone and they didn't say thank you? How about the last time a stranger did a small courtesy for you. Did you say Thank you? Are you sure? I don't want any of you reading this to feel guilty. Rather, I want to raise your awareness, to help you extend this small courtesy to your next opportunity.
Stay with me here. I am not asking you to go back to the 60's and free love and "I love everyone man." Instead, think about the concept of loving someone and how it impacts the dynamic of that relationship. When you truly love someone, you have deep empathy  and a desire for their happiness and well being. You approach their needs without expectation of what you will get out of it. This is the core of Covey's work. Approach each person you engage to truly understand what they are saying and then act in a selfless manner. I don't expect anyone to simply make this change overnight ( I am only two steps into a 1000 step journey on this one myself). I suggest you be aware of how you treat and react to others. Adding some love will give you tremendous success.
If we start from a position of service, it makes every interaction more productive. The key here is sincerity and authenticity. If you are helping someone because it will benefit both of you, be transparent and let them know. if you are helping simply because it is the right thing to do, that is even better. I had a client in 2013 that signed up with me because 12 months prior, I offered to do something for him that would give me no benefit. When he asked me why, I told him "when it comes time to bid your services, I want the opportunity to win your business." he gave me that opportunity and I won. When in doubt, help others. Last week I was at an event, where one of my coworkers was talking to a "customer" but quickly decided to move on from him as "unqualified." The young man impressed me and we began to further discuss what was important to him and found some common ground. Shortly after that, it became clear that he is a true customer and we were able to help him. This is what I like to call a "win, win, win." 
Think about these four steps. The first person you interact with today. Do it using them. Then use it with the second person and the third, etc. It will be difficult at first, but will get easier with practice and will really open up your ability to be productive.
Please share your success stories. I am excited to hear how this makes an impact on you.
If you want to continue this conversation you can email me mike@mikeshelah.com or you can give me a call 443-808-1670

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