Growing Grit from the Outside
However, remember that we don’t need to be a parent to
make a difference. If we just care about them and get to know them and what’s
going on in their lives, we can make a positive impact. I’m sure that we have
all heard the old African proverb, that it takes a village to raise a child,
right?
Besides parents growing grit from the outside in their
own homes with their children, extracurricular activities is another great way
to build grit. With extracurricular activities there is usually a more
objective adult standing in for the parent who is also demanding and
supportive. In addition, this other adult and the extracurricular activity
itself is designed by nature to cultivate interest, increase practice and
produce purpose and hope. And the beautiful thing is that it really doesn’t
matter what the extracurricular activity is because all extracurricular
activities are playing fields of grit. So, let’s sign our kids up for something
so they can spend at least part of their week doing hard things that interest
them.
You see, this is how it works… School is hard for our
young ones, but for many it’s also boring, or at least not intrinsically
interesting. Texting their friends is interesting, but not hard.
Extracurricular activities, on the other hand, can be the best of both worlds…
They can be hard and fun. In addition, kids who participate in extracurricular
activities fare better on every conceivable metric.
Dr. Duckworth talks about a study began in 1978 by Warren
Willingham who was the director of the Personal Qualities Project, and which
still remains to this day as one of the most ambitious studies ever done to
discover what determinants help young people become successful young adults.
What he found was the extracurricular activities are a great indicator of
future success.
But
here was the real secret though… Kids who participate in more than one
extracurricular activity and took part for more than one year, who also somehow
made great strides became the most successful young adults off all, regardless
of what their S.A.T. scores were, or what their grade point average was.
Harvard
University has picked up on this fact and bases at least part of their
admissions on this. Bill Fitsimmons, the former Dean of Admissions for Harvard
says that kid who was consistent and succeeded on one of the extracurricular
playing fields of grit, could use that energy and determination for something
else purposeful like getting good grades at Harvard, even if that kid no longer
participates in that extracurriculars. Sadly, many high schools are facing
budget cuts today and are cutting their extracurricular programs…
According to Dr. Duckworth, without directly experiencing
the connection between effort and reward that seems to go hand-in-hand with
extracurricular activities, all animals, humans included, default to laziness.
Calorie-burning effort is after all, something evolution has shaped us to avoid
whenever possible. Taking away extracurricular activities and then accusing
kids of being lazy doesn’t seem to add up correctly though. We are the adults.
We need to do better.
Are you doing everything in your power to make sure that
our children have opportunities to participate in extracurricular activities
and build some grit of their own?
